Am i in the wrong ??

[MovingOn24]

i had a girlfriend for 2 and a half years i adored her and we both saw a future together.

i was soon to finished uni and was worried i would sink into depression after if i didn't find a job. in a moment of weakness i told her i may have to split with her because i was not fair on her to drag her down with me and she freaked out we had a huge argument and she couldn't understand how i could think of breaking it off with her. i regret this so much.

the next few months she began to distance herself from me and all went down hill. we broke up a few times and got back together it was mainly me doing the breaking as she always seemed too busy to see me ever but she was my best friend so i always needed her back. it broke my heart.

we finally had our big break in august. we still spoke to each other i wanted to sort things out but realized she was hurt and so was i . i stayed away from girls because i knew if i touched anyone she would never forgive me and i couldnt see life without her.

in many conversations i tool her i loved her and missed her and in many she said the same to me. i tried to cut her out because talking to her was doing me damage but she kept contacting me and as bad as it was it was so good to hear from her.

shes has been contacting me but them holding me at arms length when i try to get closer it has kept me in limbo for so long.

she sent me a message on the 12th of jan saying "happy 3yr" missing out the word anniversary.

i am guilty of checking her social media from time to time and she has a few pictures with a guy who was always "just a friend" and out of the blue i asked her if she was with him. she avoided the question but eventually admitted it and the later revealed they had been together for "a few months" which after some shameless stalking looks like it may of been since august maybe before.

i honestly saw us sorting things out as i thought she was the one for me. i wanted to marry her. i had an argument with her and asked why she dint tell me she was with someone so that i could move on and get on with life. and she said she knew if she told me i wouldn't keep talking to her. i told her how could you say you loved me and missed me and say all she could think of was that i was sleeping with someone when she saw me with another girl who actually was just a friend of mine visiting for the weekend 2 months ago.

she says she does love me and miss me but thought we we're just friends i and didnt realize she was leading me on but i told her a long time ago i didnt wasnt to be just friends and a few days before that i wanted to settle down with her. and she didnt tell me then, she just moved the conversation on.

after our argument she told her boyfriend that i was being abusive to her and that she had been talking to me for a while to help me sort my head out as life has been pretty hard recently (not girl related) so he thought i was trying to sabotage their relation ship. i told her on the phone in one of my more composed moments that if she loved him and was happy then i was happy for her. she told me of course she didnt love him. but a few hours later after me asking her to come to try and work things out with me she said it couldnt be the same and that she did care for him. so maybe i did read to much in to things.

but she knew i loved her she knew i wanted to sort it and when i cut her off she begged me to talk to her.

heres where the question of morality comes in her and her boyfriend are local to my area and he works at the main night club in our area so she is ther all the time. now i am banned from the club for trying to "sabotage their relationship" and he doesn't believe i have been talking to her for months as she has obviously kept it hidden.

to clear my name i have sent this lad the past three months worth of facebook messages as proof that she has spoken to me almost every day has said that she loves and misses me and has been contacting me after i have asked her to leave me alone. there were countless hours of phone calls and texts as well that i had deleted upon finding out she was with someone or i would of shown them to him and she also told me on the phone she cant text me anything like she still loves me or loves me more than him because if i see the lad i may show him. this was on the last day we spoke on the 15th of jan.

i blocked her number and on facebook but got a message from a random number from her saying i have ****ed up relationship and that she was finally happy and then some abusive language and insults.
surely if i was reading too much into it the lad would of read the messages and seen that, and why didnt she tell him she was talking


so the question is.

am i in the wrong here ??

did i just send the messages to be spiteful which i dont think i did i just felt mislead, used and insulted that i was being made out to be the bad guy??

did she do anything wrong ??

what do i do now ??

[Wakeup]

What difference does it make if you were right or wrong. None... but you are the author of your own heartache at this point. You should have blocked and deleted her as soon as you found out she was with someone new so that you too could get to the stage of being with someone else.
The point is she's a c*nt and she was stringing you along your entire time with her through every break up and you were her. This IS NOT love... its codependency and fear of having to go through the pain of rehabbing someone out of your life for good.

Man up and block and delete her from contacting you. She's with someone new and she's being totally cunty by keeping you hooked and telling you she misses you when she's with someone else. Only immature twats that don't have good relationship boundaries do shit like that.

Go zero contact (and that includes not stalking her social media attention whoring) and block her from contacting you IN ANY WAY. Once you rehab from her and get to the stage of indifference (which you NEVER WILL if you keep in contact) you'll be open in heart and mind to find the woman you were MEANT to spend the rest of your life with and you'll find her after you have your career in order and are ready for her.

Pfffft to this girl you're on about here.

[MovingOn24]

hi thanks for the response.

i found out on the 12th and argued with her that day.

blocked her that night just after wished her luck in new relationship.

went cold turkey with the intent to never speak again.

but made contact on the 15th when i found out she and he had me banned from the main club in my area. i asked her to get me un banned as on the 16th i had a big event and people were going there at the end of the night.

through indirect civil contact with the guy i asked politely to be unbanned and that i was ok with them and would i of known she was seeing someone i would of cut all ties a long time ago.
thats where i found out she had been lying about having contact with me and claimed that i was making it up.

he called me a lier and said that had she of been talking to me he would of seen at least some messages pop up and to prove it if i wanted to get unbanned.

at first i wasnt going to as i dont want to cause problems for them if they are actually in love so but then i did as at the end of the day she had been leading me on and obviously keeping it from him. i just wanted to clear my name.


i have no intentions of contacting or attempting to reconcile.

and im sure i will meet another girl at some point.

i guess im just feeling used, that someone i spoke to every day almost for the past 3 years and was my best friend is now someone who can happily manipulate with a smile on her face.


this isnt my first break up btw i had a 5 yr relationship before that had kids involved i know the pain eventually fades.

[Wakeup]

^^^ If that were your only reason for contacting her then pray tell why all the background story and going on about being led on, used and insulted. You've now changed your story to something completely off from your original post asking if you "are wrong."

I also wonder: How does one get someone banned from a venue without cause? Is she part owner? Blowing the owner? A crooked Mayor of your town? What are the grounds for the ban?

[MovingOn24]

hi

if a member of staff dose not want someone in they are banned.

i suppose the first post was just a rant.

im just a bit heart broken i do feel led on i do feel use.

and me being banned was the catalyst of the call. of course i had loads to say to her but was trying to hold it in.

the asking if i was wrong bit was mainly about the sending of our conversations to her bf.

but if it was all in my head then the it would of caused no problems for them but like i said she contacted me from a random number to insult me.