Why is she doing this to me?

**sirtyner** · 02-02-15, 05:18 PM

So like I met this girl a little over a month ago and of course I became to like her a lot. But anyways we were a thing, e hung out a lot, and kiss etc. However she told me she wasn't ready for a relationship because her boyfriend died last year and she's still coping with it. It's so bad to that point she gets drunk a lot. Also calls me in the middle of the night and I always stay up and talk with her no matter what. That's just how much I care for her. Anyways today she randomly told me that I should start seeing other people and that I shouldn't wait for her. ( I would always tell her I'd wait until she's ready.) So I asked her if she'd give me a chance and she pretty much said no, but literally 2 days ago she told me that she wanted to be with me and is giving me a chance. She also told me today that she still likes me and cares about me, so I'm really confused on everything.

**Wakeup** · 03-02-15, 03:59 AM

Stop contacting her. She's using you as her emotional tampon. If you want to have ANY chance of being with her then you'll tell her that you can't keep being there for her when you have romantic feelings for her and when she's ready to actually be able to give herself to someone again to call you then.

If you don't do that then you'll either end up friend zoned or used as her emotional tampon and will distance herself from you when she is ready and starts dating someone else.

**sirtyner** · 03-02-15, 04:09 AM

That's pretty much what I did last night. I told her that we needed a break from talking to each other and I told her that I cannot keep being there for her if nothing is going to happen.

**lissa** · 03-02-15, 04:07 PM

Last night she told you that you shouldn't wait around for her and you should see other people, so you told her that you need a break from talking to her. Then today she told you she still likes you and cares about you? Unless I have this timeline messed up, she has completely ignored your request for a break from talking. Be more firm with her about that. There's nothing confusing about telling someone that you want them to date others, and as far as I'm concerned, that's really the only important thing she's told you. It also sounds like a good idea given her messy situation.

Just be very firm that since she is not interested in a relationship, then it's over as far you are concerned and you need time with zero contact (I'd recommend minimum a month) before reestablishing a friendship (if you even want to give her that)... Otherwise she's going to keep you in this murky dating-on-her-terms sort of situation.

**sirtyner** · 03-02-15, 04:37 PM

No she told me that last night too that she liked me

**lissa** · 03-02-15, 10:15 PM

You're missing the point. She told you that you should date other people and not wait around for her. Statements like that mean a lot. So take it at face value, stop talking to her, and work on moving on.

**pcmaster** · 03-02-15, 10:22 PM

Well man she never get over her BF if she keeps drinking. Thats what slows the whole moving on process. Sucks when girl drinks - she cant be so good to you as she could be. Agree with others they have a point. Think this girl needs friend but she dont need you as her BF, looks like she would fake her words to keep you around because looks like she need you to be around but not inside her lol.

**sirtyner** · 04-02-15, 03:10 AM

I've already been inside her tho lol

**Wakeup** · 04-02-15, 08:59 AM

Then start thinking with your big head and not the one you hold when you pee. She's a mess who has resorted to becoming (at this point) a problem drinker who has told you that she doesn't like you like you like her. If you stick around for more pussy then you're as fkd up as she appears to be.

Zero contact so you can rehab from the addiction of "being inside her" and don't answer anymore of her texts... She doesn't like you like you like her and you're far too emotionally involved to be able to consider this a **** buddy only.

Again.. ZERO contact, don't even respond when she text or emails you first.

**sirtyner** · 04-02-15, 09:03 AM

I won't, but she did tell me she still liked me alot

**Wakeup** · 04-02-15, 05:12 PM

So what? She's ****ed up and her "liking you a lot" is useless information if she's not going to let you be her boyfriend of the mutually exclusive and committed kind.

**sirtyner** · 04-02-15, 06:20 PM

You're right, it just sucks because I honestly liked her a lot. I also got her a gift a day before all this happened but idk what to do with it. I just wish it didn't have to be this way

**daisy123** · 07-02-15, 03:38 AM

She love you but she scared of his x boy friend,, once she will break up with him she will be comfortable with you.

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