how should I fix a confidence problem?

[Tone]

Shut the hell up people. This guy just wants advice. He never said what his "life" was like. Just that he has no luck with girls. Most first impressions are made with out a person telling the other were they work and if they live alone.

You shut the hell up. You have zero experience with this kind of stuff (you've stated in other various posts) yet love to open your mouth like you know.

Have you ever had a conversation with a girl you are tryin to ask out? You make small talk, usually during this chit chat you ask them what they do for a living and they will usually ask you what you do. This conversation can be seen as your "first impression".

If a girl asked me that and I just met her I would say "none of your business".

haha you have much to learn my friend. How old are you anyways? 16, 17?

The same time females decided to leave the kitchens.

Once again your ignorance comes out. The internet is so awesome. (:

[nomas]

That was pretty cool. Thanks.

Dude..you really seem to like it when people give you quick and easy solutions. Think critically for yourself. There is usually many paths to take and more often than not we choose the easiest path in hopes that, though the odds may be stacked against you, you may get lucky and resolve your situation with minimum effort.

Furthermore, I'm one who believes in doing away with gender roles that make no sense. So, yeah, you can go for a woman who will do the bread winning and be a stay at home dad, I have no problems with it, in fact, I encourage it to even things out some..but the fact remains that this is non-traditional, hence harder to find....

...even if we do live in this 21st century.

[shh!]

Furthermore, I'm one who believes in doing away with gender roles that make no sense. So, yeah, you can go for a woman who will do the bread winning and be a stay at home dad, I have no problems with it, in fact, I encourage it to even things out some..but the fact remains that this is non-traditional, hence harder to find....

...even if we do live in this 21st century.

Hahaha, nomas! I agree with nearly everything you say, but I had to laugh at this! My husband once took a week off of work to stay home with my kids when they were very young so I could go visit my sister across the country. When I got home, he was SO HAPPY to see me and said he thought going to work was 1000 times easier than caring for the kids 24/7, cooking and keeping the house up. Anyone who thinks being home is easy obviously hasn't done it with multiple, active children!

By the way, the gender roles largely DO make sense, or at least HAVE historically. Women were home raising the kids because men cannot breastfeed; men worked outside their homes because labor was usually physical and men are tyypically stronger. And for the record, I have no problem with gender role reversals, assuming both partners agree to it, but I think there is a big difference between a man who is better equipped to handle the home, kids, cooking, etc. and a man who is a slacker.

[indigosoul]

Thanks for the tip; would that be a scientific biography, or does it focus on the (more relatable) human aspects of his life? My knowledge of physics is very basic, and I'm quite sure I am not equal to the task if the book becomes too technical.

You can't really read about him w/o reading about physics, but the book is very readable even for non-scientists. The author is a fellow physicist who knew him. Lots of insight about him as a "human" (I know a few physicists who would laugh... "hey, I'M human, ya know...!")

By the way - are you a teacher of some sort? (or perhaps you'd rather not say in the interest of privacy...)

There are definite advantages to anonymity. Some ppl will start putting you in stereotyped boxes if they think they know who you are/what you do (she's a doctor, he's an engineer, he's a student/writer/garbage collector). I'm here to learn about love, like everyone else here. But w/o going into too much detail, yes, one of the things I do is teach (but, for the school teachers here, I'm not a "teacher"--I never had to go to teacher's college).

[nomas]

I'm here to learn about love, like everyone else here.

I'm not here to learn about love.

I'm here for interesting discussions.

[shh!]

You can't really read about him w/o reading about physics, but the book is very readable even for non-scientists. The author is a fellow physicist who knew him. Lots of insight about him as a "human" (I know a few physicists who would laugh... "hey, I'M human, ya know...!")



There are definite advantages to anonymity. Some ppl will start putting you in stereotyped boxes if they think they know who you are/what you do (she's a doctor, he's an engineer, he's a student/writer/garbage collector). I'm here to learn about love, like everyone else here. But w/o going into too much detail, yes, one of the things I do is teach (but, for the school teachers here, I'm not a "teacher"--I never had to go to teacher's college).

Well, you've piqued my interest, but of course, I want to respect your privacy, so I won't question you any further. :-)

I will look for the book you are suggesting when I am next at the bookstore, although as I mentioned, I am primarily interested in Einstein's political activism and social justice activities. I guess I will just have to skim the physics portions! Thanks for the tip...

[Only-virgins]

You shut the hell up. You have zero experience with this kind of stuff (you've stated in other various posts) yet love to open your mouth like you know.

I talk to people. What experience would I need to tell that people are not giving this guy the advice he is asking for? ...none..Don't be a freaking idiot.

Have you ever had a conversation with a girl you are tryin to ask out? You make small talk, usually during this chit chat you ask them what they do for a living and they will usually ask you what you do. This conversation can be seen as your "first impression".

Actually your looks are your first impression...If you dis-agree to try to look macho and not shallow then your only going to be fooling yourself because its how everyone is. You can talk all you want..by the way..I can tell I am more experienced at avoiding a topic then you by this. I can make small talk and absolutly avoid talking about jobs/careers.

haha you have much to learn my friend. How old are you anyways? 16, 17?

I am 22 and I do have much to learn. I hope your younger then me because it does seem like you have more to learn then me.

Once again your ignorance comes out. The internet is so awesome.

To bad your humor is non-existant. It was a joke reply to his/hers hypocrite post.

[Tone]

sigh I guess I'll bite..

I talk to people. What experience would I need to tell that people are not giving this guy the advice he is asking for? ...none..Don't be a freaking idiot.

You honestly don't think there is a difference between "talking to people" and experiencing things on your own?

Actually your looks are your first impression...If you dis-agree to try to look macho and not shallow then your only going to be fooling yourself because its how everyone is. You can talk all you want..by the way..I can tell I am more experienced at avoiding a topic then you by this. I can make small talk and absolutly avoid talking about jobs/careers.

Your entire first conversation can be seen as your first impression, not just the very first second you see someone.

I am 22 and I do have much to learn. I hope your younger then me because it does seem like you have more to learn then me.

I'm also 22 and I agree I have a lot to learn and love learning new things!

To bad your humor is non-existant. It was a joke reply to his/hers hypocrite post.

Probably cause I'm a freaking idiot :)

[Only-virgins]

You honestly don't think there is a difference between "talking to people" and experiencing things on your own?

Thats not what I meant. Experience of what are you talking about anyways? The guy here just wants to know why no luck with girls has been coming his way and people are straffing off the subject into other things and that is why I said "shut the hell up".

Your entire first conversation can be seen as your first impression, not just the very first second you see someone.

The first entire appearance?, conversation?, day?, month? ..Im not good at drawing borders were things end and you know why? because they are not really there.

I have a lot to learn and love learning new things!

Don't we all.