Engagement before moving

[Monique8966]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and have been living together for a few months. There is a strong possibility that he will be moving to across the country for a new job. I absolutely want to go with him but I wanted to be engaged before I make that move. How do I explain this to him? We have talking about marriage and having children several different times all with good outcomes. I'm a teacher in a high needs area so finding a job wouldn't be a problem.

[Wakeup]

You've only lived together for a couple of months... certainly not long enough to figure out if you're going to be compatible enough to last A LIFETIME together which is what marriage actually means.
You've only been dating a year and that is still within the honeymoon period when the new relationship energy is still strong. It's after that period that one should decide if they can last that lifetime or not.

If you want to be "engaged" before you leave with him and you're wondering how you bring that up to him then you wait until he actually gets the word that he has been asked to move for said job. Once, better yet, "if" that happens then you can discuss it then.

Frankly: I wonder if you would be okay with being engaged without a diamond ring that cost $10,000 or more?

[Monique8966]

I'm perfectly ok with him spending $500 or less on a ring. I would never expect him to spend that much in a ring I would rather have that money as a down payment on a house

[basilandthyme]

Monique, I agree that it's too early to be looking at being engaged. By all means, go with him - but spend more time living together and surviving life's trials before you make any marriage commitment.

[woody]

Kudos^^ to both.

Yes Monique, I understand you feel the need for something that spells commitment yet living together for a few years before rings come into play is never a bad idea. AFter all, if your lifer's, what's the rush on the rings right?
No need to jump the gun. If your in love with one another, live together, work, eat, play together. Figure out how you two work in a household situation and all the 'stuff' that comes with first. See how it goes.
AFter a year or more later, and the vibes maintain goodness and compatibility, allow the rings to come up naturally, not forced.