not sure if the problem is me or the relationship, not sure if i should marry him.

[lost.in.space]

we've been together for almost 10 years, since i was 18. we have been engaged for almost 5 years, neither of us care too much about throwing a wedding; we discussed just eloping to a local resort. we have a beautiful 2 year old daughter. i am trying to be very careful and realistic, and not comparing us to all the couples back home that are all getting married and having babies, living in beautiful homes. they all seem so blissful. i know people project their "highlight reel" and again being mindful of not comparing but. i don't feel blissful. we bicker a lot. we are both "eldest child" in our respective families so one could say we are both strong willed. I acknowledge i am sensitive, but he only semi acknowledges that he is insensitive a lot. i've suggested counselling, he rejects it. i ash he could make a better effort to understand and communicate with me better but he is just more "harsh" one could say and says he shouldn't need to "sugar coat" things... which i don't necessarily expect. but i guess i work in a professional field where we have to basically choose every word we use so I understand the power of communication. in my mind, he should know, after 10 years, how to communicate with me. he says he loves me blah blah but i don't really feel "respected" and really really loved, and i feel like there are other relationships out there so much more fruitful in that sense. i don't want to break up our family for my daughters sake, although I have told him i don't want to be with him. he just ignores it. if i am unsure i want to marry him because of this, then i wonder what is the point of us being together then. we've always just been "together". he never had to "court" me, chase me, date me, work for me, and i see so many other relationships that were that way and they seems to love each other so much. has our relationship just gone stale? i don't even know if we real even had super "fireworks" to begin with ten years ago.. we just started hanging out and never stopped. I just don't know. but its really getting me down. i think i am going to go to counselling for myself anyway, once i get the courage. thanks for reading if anyone does. good to verbalize it anyway. i don't have any friends and am not that open of a person anyway.