Break up or break but it's more complicated

[Lauramariaa]

My boyfriend and I are together since a bit over three years. I was a traveller from Germany when we met after only a few weeks being in Australia. We moved together a few weeks later and have only been separated for 10 days max in three years.
We spent every single day together, texting, on the phone, internet and also every other spare second.
I have done damage to the relationship because I was not always honest with him and last Monday he said that we were splitting up. My world has turned upside down completely.

In our case my visa runs out in two weeks.
Over the last three days my partner decided that it would be best to take a break and reassess what would be best for me. He wants me to go back to Germany and give us time to think. He said he Still loves me and in the last days he gave me hugs, said I shouldn't be scared of going to Germany and bought me my favourite dinners because he knew I hadn't eaten during the day. I already lost 4 kilos in the last week because I am so heartbroken. He wants me to stop crying but also said that he has not decided if we may give it another shot or if we draw the final line. He said he wants me in a save environment until he has figured out what's going to happen.
He said he wants to discover how his life is without me, doing more music, meeting friends again and finding himself.
Yesterday I asked him if we could book the flight (I am desperate to give us another chance so I will do whatever he wants me to do even if that means going to Germany). He didn't end up booking the flight with me and said that this would not have to happen in a hurry, I should take my time and packing the most important things so I could live in Germany for a while in case we ended up breaking up and he had to send the other things from our house over to Europe.

Apart from a few very very long emotional hugs and one or two kisses he doesn't want me to touch him at all.

I don't know what is going to happen or what I should do. Does he want me to pack properly because he wants to let me down easy? I asked him if he already had made up his mind to break up with me but he said that he honestly would not know and that he needed time and space to figure it out. He said once he would give it a proper think the outcome would come to him and whatever it would be it would be.

It is so hard because we both agreed that there was a lot of stuff happening and the relationship wasn't good the last year but we still love each other and care a lot for each other.
He said he wants to know that I'm safe and he wants me to tell him that I arrived ok in Germany.
He does try to avoid me but doesn't want me to cry and tries to comfort me. Maybe he is nice to me because he just wants those last days before I'm in Germany to be not so much of a drama and he will break up with me once I have left the country.

I know I made many mistakes but I love him so much and I so so hope that he wants me back in his life. I'm dreading the thought of flying out and never ever see him again it's breaking my heart and it's the worst thing I could think of happening to me because I love him more than anything..

I probably also should add that we were due to send in our partner visa in less than 10 days. It is a very draining and emotional and stressful process and very expensive 7k..
He said after I admitted being dishonest to him he could not put in a legal document in to the government because it would not fit in with his morals. It is all my fault I know but I begged him that I would give it a proper effort to just be together with him again and i promised him not to be dishonest again and just give it anything to make things up to him. This is why he said he would not break up with me immediately but have a proper think about it