Was I played?

[Peanutbear3]

I met a guy 6 weeks ago at a mutual friend's wedding, we hooked up. I wasn't expecting to hear from him again as I live 4 hours away (he is from my home town). But, the next day he face booked me and after that we were messaging long messages (Essays) 2-3 times a day. We are 32 and I am cautious of longdistance, so was going with the flow.

I was home 4 weeks after we met and we met again, I stayed at his and he was cuddling all night and the next day. When his friend (my mate also) came home, he continued to hold me on the couch. We continued the messages, but I felt there was something else. I wasn't sure if I was being insecure, as I have been messed around a lot in the past. So, a few days later I mentioned I'd be home in 2 weeks if he wanted to meet again.

Then the shit hit the fan. He met girl who is 24 who lives transatlantic 8 months ago, they are not exclusive. She visited in January and he is going there at the end of March, this second trip was arranged shortly after our initial meeting. He says he is more realsitic of what this may be than she is, but she still wanted him to visit, so he is. He likes her, but doesn't know what it is or where it will go. We ended up talking a lot (too much in my opinion for where we were in terms of getting to know each other). Bottom line is we are leaving it 'for now'. I told him he needs to get his head straight. He does like me, but he too has been scarred by long distance, albeit he admits that is what he is doing with this girl.

Mutual friends couch he is not a player and when he dates a girl he is normally spending a lot of time with her, he doesn't like long distance. I was truly going with the flow, knowing in 3 months I will be moving to only 2 hours away. But, i did see potential. Mutual friends are shocked by his behaviour and confused by his messages, saying he seems confused about this girl, me and our distance. This all just snowballed.

My questions are:

(1) if he liked her and saw a real future, why would he stay in such contact with me, so consistently and pursue me - not just shook up and a text maybe once or twice a week. To me this is the start of getting to know someone, more than a simple hookup. And dangerous territory to play with friends of friends.

(2) We are well suited, it didn't shock friends we got together at all. If he truly likes me and feels we connected, is it easy for guys to turn off. Will he go meet this girl, spend a glorious loved up holiday time with her and forget about me.

I havent been in contact since his last text. he said he would probably regret this, I do believe he is a nice guy and both our heads are melted and relationships are never straightforward, this just got too intense too quickly. I just wonder, is there any hope?

[basilandthyme]

Peanutbear, you don't mention that there was any talk of exclusivity between the two of you so I will assume there was none. From where I'm sitting, I'm seeing a guy who you've talked to online substantially but only met twice. Or at least, only been seeing him for two weeks. You haven't kissed him?

As for the girl overseas.... I'm not sure why you think he has a real future with her - he told you that he doesn't know where it's going to go. However, it would seem that he wants to give it a chance.

He doesn't seem to have lied or have broken promises. I'm not sure what behaviour has shocked his mutual friends. He's going with the flow and seeing where it takes him.

I'm going to lay money that he was open to moving on from overseas girl if he found someone he liked more - but as yet, that hasn't happened. Sorry I can't be more positive, but at least you haven't given him a large chunk of your life.

Lose his number and move on. Onwards and upwards.

[Wakeup]

He's getting sex from two very naïve females. That's the beginning, the middle and the end of this story.

[basilandthyme]

haha - you're on fire today Wakeup! Keep up the good work

[fearoflove]

Long distance and love triangle in the mix and you think he is a good guy?

[Wakeup]

^^^ What web site did you steal that off of?