i don't know what's wrong? please help.

[pkalyani]

Hello. The title can be misguiding but hope anyone can help me.
I met a guy, we got close and now we are in a relationship (for a year). It started off really great. He told me it was love at first site for him (3 years before we met -we are in the same college).
Half a year in the relationship i left him due to some family problems. My father got married and his wife really turned out to be a b****. But we got together after 2 months.( I know what i did was wrong but i wanted to be left alone at that point.) So after we got together i felt that he changed and that's understandable. He was hurt, i hurt him. Afterwards i felt that he would intentionally try to hurt me. And somedays he would ask me questions about why i left him and no matter how i phrased it he wouldnt understand and kept asking it.
Fast forward a few months, things had gotten good except those questions. He would love me like before. Then one day he told me he was serious about this relationship and things started going downhill from then on. He is not fun to be around anymore. I may sound cruel but it is true. Eg. On one date he just kept on staring at me - It was uncomfortable. He would rather look at me than talk to me and dates are a rarity for us. Unless i ask him to meet, we won't meet. He would just come to my place to see me - it may sound romantic but it isn't. My father doesn't like it and we can't even talk properly. And seriously i would like to go on dates with him rather than being scooped up at my house.
He will be sad most days. I try so hard to cheer him up but he just makes me feel down too. He is becoming boring. We never have fun like before.
All this has starting to irritate me more. I am a hothead. No matter how hard i try, i get rude with him (with other people i can control myself). And he will get angry too though he never say anything but i know. Afterwards i have to be the one to make up and he says he makes up all the time! He thinks his love for me is great, it makes me feel inferior.
I love him a lot. I really do. I have many sad things in my life but he could always cheer me up. Not anymore though. Being with him hurts. I tried telling him all this but he just isn't ready to leave me. He just wants some solution to come up magically. He has no opinions about anything, he will go along with whatever i say and i don't like it. We have nothing to talk about except love or romance. He doesnt like the things i am interested in. If i try to tell him he will just act uninterested. If i try sharing my family problems he acts the same way, like he doesnt care at all. Its like we are on a different page. I don't know what i should do?
Please help.

Tldr - Bf has changed. He hurts me emotionally intentionally/unintentionally. Makes me feel inferior. And is hard to be around.

P.s.- he is a year younger than me.

[basilandthyme]

You say that you love him - but your description of him sounds very much like you dislike being with him. Tell us all the things you love about him.

Don't talk about who he used to be - tell us why you love him in the present day.

[pkalyani]

Umm.. Okay.
I don't have to pretend infront of him. He accepts and love me for who i am. He isn't like that all the time. He takes things seriously. He gives his 100% in everything. I don't have to worry about things like if he will cheat on me or something along the lines. He shows his love for me. When he is happy, it genuinely makes me happy. He is a beautiful soul no doubt.
I know for a fact that he will stand by me. He trusts me. His smile is infectious. He knows me better than i know myself. He makes me smile. He is patient with me. I really really love being with this guy.

[smackie9]

When you broke up with him it made him feel insecure, so to get your complete attention he acts like a jerk/weird/sad, which is manipulation to control you. This is a form of abuse....which is something you should NEVER tolerate! To fix this you need to get the upper hand. When he starts acting like a jerk again, tell him you will not feed into this poor behavior of his by trying to make him feel better. You will be cutting him off until he can respect you. Then tell him, when he is ready to treat you proper, he can talk to you again. Be firm, be serious. Don't worry you won't lose him, it's gonna scare him bad that he's gonna lose you.

Every time you have to explain yourself for what happened and try to make him feel better, he is controlling you. He feels he wins by making you feel guilty. This is why he keeps doing it, because you keep trying to fix it with him. Time to stand up for yourself and give him an attitude adjustment.

[pkalyani]

Manipulation? That is so wrong. I never thought of it like that. Thanks [MENTION=47273]smackie9[/MENTION]

[woody]

Of course he loves and accepts for who you are, You are his Host and he is your Parasite. Where ever you go, he will be more than happy to go along while sucking on your life force.

Your already feeling the effects of this. Your body, heart and soul are telling you to surgically remove him (in a matter of speaking) so why do you not listen?

[Wakeup]

Tldr - Bf has changed. He hurts me emotionally intentionally/unintentionally. Makes me feel inferior. And is hard to be around.

Just get the hell away from him. He's a horrendous partner when you consider that when you marry, it is suppose to be for a lifetime. Can you even imagine how horrible you will be feeling if you were to marry this emotionally void zombie man? WTF. What is your issue that you don't just dump him and don't tell me because you love him because there is NOTHING to love. What he gives you in positives you could easily get from a female friend or a good and loyal Labrador Retriever.

Woody says: "You are his Host and he is your Parasite." On target conclusion to your life... for sure.