Losing attraction to a girl, that i think i love

[hidemyid]

Been with a girl a long time, its been kinda tough to assess my feelings up to this point. Was always very up and VERY down. We have broken up upwards of 5 times. This last stint of time together, is the longest we have spent without breaking up and it hasnt been easy. I feel like, i push away on purpose because im really not that attracted to her, or enjoy her company like i used to. Shes constantly complaining about everything, or trying to talk down about something or someone. I just cant take it anymore, and i kind of push away all of the time because im so sick of it. Im sick of fighting, im sick of tension, im sick of how she handles situations. I just wish she could be a more positive person, because I know she loves me, and i think i love her to but... I really get coldfeet about a future with this girl, because I cant imagine living with her like this. I keep telling myself, that it will get better, were just at a point where we are figuring out our lives (college, jobs, bills, early twentys, pressures).

I think I love her, but i hate the point we have come to.
Im constantly battling myself over whats more important, having her, or not losing myself.

[woody]

No.
If you 'think' you love her means your not sure and therein lies your answer man.
When you know, you know. Know what I mean? I'm thinking you may not so allow me to detail.
Get out, get out, while you still can. If lady is so negative and bringing you down you do neither of you any favours by sticking this one out. 5 breakups didn't give you the obvious eh?
Hey, if it looks like, walks like, talks like, it usually is. And this sounds like a negative match.
Life is Precious. So flippin precious man. What are you doing?
She puts others down, deals with situations half cup empty never half cup full?

Come on. What are your choices? Stick it out and continue hoping she has some magical epiphany that changes her cynical heart into one of compassion? OR, get out now, back to yourself and self worth and possibly show her (school her) that while you think much of her is great, her negative outlooks is draining the life force out of you and no one can live well that way and she best figure it out but without you.
Only you'll know if this is possible but after 5 break up's already, I must say, I do not believe you are seeing the signs.
Time to see again...
good luck

[hidemyid]

I hear you, I argue with myself over wanting to leave all the time. I care alot, so its easier said then done for sure, but i kinda of think your right. Thank you for your response.

I suppose its hard to let go, because shes one of the few people whos actually there for me, at the same time she shouldnt be... thats what she wants, shes actually made me push out people from my life. We cant "like the opposite sex'es pictures" we cant "talk to people from out past such as exes or even just friends" its getting to be to much. If we could break free of these stupid ass controlling regimes, and live independantly together it would work... It just, dosent seem like its happenining as of now.

[smackie9]

Have some self worth....walk away. Your relationship has run it's course it's time to move on.

[derroa]

You know the thing that did it for me?

"I just wish she could be more..."

We get in relationships and love 99.99% of what happens in that relationship, and there's that 0.01% that doesn't work and really really eats away at us, and IF only that little thing changed, things would be perfect.

We often end up staying because of what COULD be, not what IS.

If you look at the way things are right now, and assuming that they will not change, are you happy to stay in this relationship and accept things and her exactly the way she is? The answer to this question is the answer to your dilemma.

And as a word of advice for the future (which you will definitely learn first hand) is that you either accept people just the way they are, or leave them. People rarely change, and the changes they do make will not be very significant.

[woody]

I hear you, I argue with myself over wanting to leave all the time. I care alot, so its easier said then done for sure, but i kinda of think your right. Thank you for your response.

I suppose its hard to let go, because shes one of the few people whos actually there for me, at the same time she shouldnt be... thats what she wants, shes actually made me push out people from my life. We cant "like the opposite sex'es pictures" we cant "talk to people from out past such as exes or even just friends" its getting to be to much. If we could break free of these stupid ass controlling regimes, and live independantly together it would work... It just, dosent seem like its happenining as of now.

and if it's not happening as of now, I think you know it isn't going to... sorry to say.
Hey, we all get comfortable in our routines; it isn't easy starting over sometimes but this is your life. Yours. and you've every right, every right to 'do' right by and to yourself, no matter what needs to be done to get there.