Finding Myself

[skinnyego]

Hey guys,

I've been struggling recently trying to be cool to impress a girl … and in the end i've realized that none of these trivial things will ever work. The snowboarders were mean, the bikers were so f***ing boring, the smokers were unresponsive… in the end I was even less cool and more desperate then when i started my journey. I know now that being cool is just about being yourself, and being confident in who you are. It’s not about the things that you do, it’s about what comes from within. The problem is, I’ve tried to be so many different things that I’ve forgotten how to just be me.

Anyways, I am looking for advice on how to be myself. What are some things I can do to just be me?

[sapie]

Think about things you've done in the past that have made you feel truly happy or at peace. Particularly focus on the activities you've done alone, or achievements you have worked for. Focusing on activities that improve your personal self-esteem, whatever those are, will be invaluable to the exploration of your identity. If you're trying really hard to think of something, that's an indicator that it's time to do some stuff for yourself. Get out in nature, take walks, be creative, exercise,study, find a cool job, and try NEW things that are not contingent on what you want other people to see or notice.

Try to leave another person out of this equation-- for the time being. You will feel much better about yourself approaching a new relationship with a strong sense of self-- after all, the relationship you have with yourself is the most important one you'll ever have.

xoxo

[woody]

Shed the shit. Your already practically there; you know it isn't what one does that makes them so called 'cool'. Ask yourself why the need to be cool in the first place when personal happiness with ones self is really what its about.

No need to hang out with blow hards

Being yourself is when you look within for answers, thoughts, not to your left or right to see what others do.

[TheEvilJester]

You know something, I often have a hard time finding myself as well. But, I just follow the trail of blood to the pile of bodies, and I'm usually right there busy at work with my trusty machete.

....Wait.... crap.... can we all pretend I didn't say that? :-P

Seriously, though, you've hit the nail right on the head. Honestly being cool is more about not giving a crap if other people think you are cool or not. Let people think whatever they want. They don't matter. Hell, the kind of people who WOULD be impressed by you going out of your way to try to impress people are scumbags you don't want in your life anyway. The good people (who are very few in this day and age) will like you for the real you. You won't have to put on airs, or create some kind of fake persona. They will like you for you, and if that is not good enough for them they can go straight to Hell.

In fact, send them my way. I'll add them to the pile.

....CRAP! I really need to learn to filter what comes out of my mouth. ....You know... or off of my fingers... I guess.

[skinnyego]

k this was not helpful at all

[woody]

Then your too in it to be helped if you can't even pull one helpful message out of any responses you've had.

Me thinks your too superficial to even be deep OR for some reason you've been damaged beyond a quick fix repair.. Good luck or ah, whatever there man..

I suggest going backpacking around some foreign countryside and then running out of money. You'll be forced to tap into 'realness'
Who knows; you may even learn something. or not.

your too cool for me

[TheEvilJester]

You are looking for advice on how to just be you as though any of us random screen names on a computer are supposed to know who you are better than you do. Then, a few peeps chime in with some thoughts and advice of their own in what is a very abstract topic, and all you can do is complain? It isn't like you asked "My girlfriend cheated on me, should I stay with her." Pretty cut and dry answer in my book. You asked how to be yourself. ....I'd venture to guess the only person who can really answer that question is you.

I tell you, where is Wakeup when you need her? She tends to have great advice, and this is one thread where I think her unique style could be very appropriate. (Not to imply it is usually inappropriate. LOL! Just saying if any thread could use Wakeup's no-nonsense attitude, I think perhaps it is this one.)

[Wakeup]

I've been struggling recently trying to be cool to impress a girl

... and apparently failing at it.
Maybe you should just learn how to suck your own dick?

[TheEvilJester]

Wow! Where your ears burning, Wakeup? Or do I just have some bizarre and awesome power to summon people as needed that I was never aware I had?

Let me try this out. AJ Lee from WWE!

..... Damn it! It didn't work.