Originally Posted by
Wakeup
You mean getting his "wants" met doesn't mean that he has to look outside the marriage.
His desire to have sex with a man can also be met within the marriage by having a wife that is okay with having a MMF threesome. That would mean that SHE would be expected to give up the vow to forsake all others and share her husband when she didn't sign up for that. They could also resolve this within the marriage by him continuing to speak to his therapist about mind over matter. A strap-on will work to simulate the feeling of a penis... it will not work for to satiate his "urge" to be with a man though... the urge is what he needs to exercise his mind so that that urge no longer matters. If he does that, then he'll be honoring his decision to go mono with a woman when he married his wife.
Adding: ANYone that has had to quit smoking knows that you can do the mental work you need to do to get over the urge and the want to smoke.
You say a strap-on will not satisfy his urge to be with a man. As I said earlier, I have a friend who this DOES work for. While he'd like to experience the real thing, role play is sufficient for him. Yes, he's a sample of one - but he's proof that it *could* be a solution. Not saying that it *will be* a solution, but it's not as impossible as you're making out.
This person has talked about a MMF threesome and while the wife would be up for it, they decided that it's too risky and won't persue the idea. Being bi can be compatible with marriage and doesn't need to be swept under the carpet. Of course, whether or not to suggest a threesome would also depend on knowing how kinky one's partner is - and it's certainly not something which would be commonly taken on board in a marriage. However, it's not wrong to acknowledge one's feelings and discuss them with a partner with a goal of meeting everyone's needs.
As for exercising his mind so that the sexual urge no longer matters, how is this different to a gay person exercising away their same sex urges? Perhaps a lot of failed marriages where there was one gay partner would still be intact if they'd just controlled those pesky gay instincts. (sarcasm)
I also disagree that addiction to smoking can be compared to sexual orientation. One is substance based - the other is born that way.
Last edited by basilandthyme; 12-03-15 at 12:25 PM.
Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.