How to end the relationship?

[Davidpl]

I love my girlfriend very dearly however I think we've reached the stage where we both want different things and it would be unwise to stay together. I've thought about many ways to avoid this, but sadly none that will stick.

I am however dreading ending our relationship. I have not let on at all that I'm having big concerns and thinking about ending it. So when I do, I'm worried about how hurt and shocked she will be. It's the main thing that's prevented me from doing it already.

We're supposed to be moving in together very soon, yet I really think this isn't the right move and feel I have to end it before we make such a commitment.

I'm very close to her friends and family, and vise versa. Part of me wants to just keep this all inside and stay with her, however I feel like this will be the best for her in the long run. Surely better than staying with her and not telling her how I truly feel? I know i would want to know if the roles were reversed.

Basically I'm looking for some advice on how to approach this as I'm absolutely dreading it.

[eve.ashley]

I love my girlfriend very dearly however I think we've reached the stage where we both want different things and it would be unwise to stay together. I've thought about many ways to avoid this, but sadly none that will stick.

I am however dreading ending our relationship. I have not let on at all that I'm having big concerns and thinking about ending it. So when I do, I'm worried about how hurt and shocked she will be. It's the main thing that's prevented me from doing it already.

We're supposed to be moving in together very soon, yet I really think this isn't the right move and feel I have to end it before we make such a commitment.

I'm very close to her friends and family, and vise versa. Part of me wants to just keep this all inside and stay with her, however I feel like this will be the best for her in the long run. Surely better than staying with her and not telling her how I truly feel? I know i would want to know if the roles were reversed.

Basically I'm looking for some advice on how to approach this as I'm absolutely dreading it.

again, you sound like a battered person in a very abusive relationship.

she controls you and decides everything for you.

she has no idea how unhappy you are, or that you want out, and when told you sound msierable, you say stuff that makes no sense, like:

i am not miserable, i love her, blah blah...

i hope your guardian angel finds you man, coz you are in quick sand and she will drag you down, unless you snap out of it.

break it off.

tell her it's over and put as much distance between you and her as possible, then get some therapy.

only away from her, no contact with her, can you start thinking straight.

she has manipulated you into not thinking straight.

how are you not miserable, she doesn't let you go out with friends.

she is forcing you into moving in.

you want to leave her but you dread telling her.

how is that not a miserable situation?

snap the fuk out of it.

i know what i'm talking about.

i mean this lovingly David, don't let her treat you this way!

listen to paul simon, 50 ways to leave your lover, and inspire yourself and break up with her.

[Wakeup]

Don't worry about how she is going to handle a breakup... that's her business. Your business is to look out for your own best interests while being straight forward and with compassion towards her.

You simply tell her that you have discovered that you do not have enough in common to go forward and therefore you are not going to continue on in a relationship that you know will never last a LIFE time.

Then you wish her well and you go zero contact. You are naturally fearing hurting her (most people who are not sociopathic would be but you cannot let how she is going to react to your decision make you abandon what is ultimately in your best interests.

You are not being abused. That rhetoric is coming from someone who is projecting her past life onto you so don't worry about that. Therapy however is never a bad idea if you're having a hard time with being able to say "no" to people and therefore allowing them to take advantage of your good nature.

Let us now how it goes when you have the break up talk with her.