I really need advice. :(

[boopityy]

Hello everyone.

I have been with my sweetheart for 2 years now. We bet online, we were talking for 1 year texting and video cam and it was amazing felt amazing connection. Then i moved to a place next to her town looking for job there and she was visiting, to see if in reality we would be as great as, and it was as great. I felt and still feel she is the one for me, the love of my life. The good thing is that we always felt the same way, we grew our feelings together she loves me as much as i do.

After 6 months we moved together and we have fun and so much in common. As all couples though we have problems. We rarely fight and that's good and we are comfortable with each other, but maybe too comfortable. (and i don't know why too comfortable is bad). Also we have never lied to each other about anything and we tell each other everything. Because even if something might hurt the other person, its better than keeping secrets that are ruining our lives. So far this works great and we have a true and sincere relationship.

The problem is that its both our first relationship so we don't know how to do stuff right so i feel that we will end up breaking up. We don't know how to be romantic with each other and even though i try to compliment her, she never accepts them because she thinks she is not attractive enough but i keep telling her stuff and i believe them.

The biggest problem is sex. We never had proper sex because it is always hurting after a while, so every time we have i just let her go her pace until in like 5 minutes that it starts hurting. We prepare before and we make sure that she is ready to have. But by now i think i made sex for her a hurtful experience in her mind. We are masturbating separately but we are open with that and whenever i try to pleasure he with the mouth and she never feels that good and i end up with a hurting jaw, she also never puts finger inside just rubs clitoris, it even hurts her to put 2 fingers inside even alone.

Even though i have done a lot of research and tried many stuff can't find solution. We don't want to get experience after we break up and we just appreciate what we have right now. It drives me crazy that nothing is working.

She now told me that she doesn't feel that sexually attracted to me as she used to (she says its not me or some change on me) but she still loves me very much and wants to find solution because she doesn't want to loose me. And i feel the same way like the spark is going away because we don't work that hard in our relationship and just have fun doing stuff together. We need to find a way to bring the spark back because without sex its really hard and we never really had the real spark. Just many failed attempts. We always use condoms and when we use lube it just burns her a lot.

We don't have experience so she doesn't know how to seduce me (and she thinks its silly) and even if i know stuff . She doesn't even bother to shave now for me only for when we go out clubbing because as i said we are maybe too comfortable.

Please help me I am going crazy, i love her more than anything and she loves me too very much and it would be such a waste. I am sure i won't find the same connection with another person, and i don't want to. But our inexperience is going to eventually ruin us.

[eve.ashley]

yes. you are definitely too comfortable around each other.

would i love my bf if he was gunky and dirty and scruffy, of course.

would it annoy me and put me off if he was ALWAYS like that, yes.

it's ok for you to see her hairy legs sometimes, but if she makes no effort to groom, on regular bases, and hairy legs is all you get, she is doing it wrong...

so as with anything, a couple should strike a balance between grooming and letting each other see the unkempt truth, lol


about the painful sex, she needs to see a doctor. something is wrong.

[boopityy]

yes. you are definitely too comfortable around each other.

would i love my bf if he was gunky and dirty and scruffy, of course.

would it annoy me and put me off if he was ALWAYS like that, yes.

it's ok for you to see her hairy legs sometimes, but if she makes no effort to groom, on regular bases, and hairy legs is all you get, she is doing it wrong...

so as with anything, a couple should strike a balance between grooming and letting each other see the unkempt truth, lol


about the painful sex, she needs to see a doctor. something is wrong.

Thank you for your reply

Do you think that if a person stops slowly loosing sexual interest on another, it can come back somehow? And how is that? Its not something about my body as she said. I have great knowledge on how to make a girl want me more and play with feeling as most guys and girls do but i didn't want to have a relationship based on that, i wanted something real. And now it worked and our emotional part of the relationship is perfect. We just don't know the sexual part both and i feel it will eventually ruin us.

[telles]

She most definitely should see a doctor. Sex is uncomfortable the first few times you do it but after that it should gets better. If it hurts her every time and she can't even play with herself it's either a medical problem or it's in her own head. If it's in her head there is nothing you can do but be patient and try to talk threw it and figure out a solution for both of you. She might just be so wound up about it it freaks her out a little bit. You have to have a sit down honest chat hun.

[eve.ashley]

Thank you for your reply

Do you think that if a person stops slowly loosing sexual interest on another, it can come back somehow? And how is that? Its not something about my body as she said. I have great knowledge on how to make a girl want me more and play with feeling as most guys and girls do but i didn't want to have a relationship based on that, i wanted something real. And now it worked and our emotional part of the relationship is perfect. We just don't know the sexual part both and i feel it will eventually ruin us.

i really don't know as i'm not sure what you are talking about. in my experience emotional connection nd great sex go hand in hand...

also the more comfortable the partners are the better sex is...

but this doesn't mean we need to stop grooming altogether. lol

hell, i don't enjoy masturbating when i'm gunky as much as when i'm nice smelling...

which doesn't mean sweaty after gym sex is any short of pure bliss.

i really cannot understand how can two people have good emotional connection but bad sex...

or why you'd need to keep each other on your toes, to have good sex...best sex is about intimacy...
intimacy comes with knowing each other and being comfortable around each other...

i've got nothing, sorry. maybe someone else can shed some light...

[boopityy]

We have talked about this a lot but as i said we are both inexperience cause its our first relationship and we were virgins too so we don't actually know much, its not like there is a communication problem.

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Thank you anyway eve for your help

Its not about having bad sex, its about we cant even have because it hurts. Now if its about not attraction, or she needs more preparation or even doctor don't know :/