what do i do?

**GABrand** · 14-04-15, 07:43 PM

So i met this girl last saturday. She's very nice and very pretty, and I think I might have feelings for her, but i don't know if she has feelings for me. She has been texting me everyday since I met her and we sometimes text late into the night. If anyone has some advice for me, I'm new to boy-girl relationships.

**Wakeup** · 15-04-15, 07:49 AM

Ask to meet up with her for a piece of pizza or to go to a movie with you or something. See what she says about that.

**GABrand** · 15-04-15, 08:15 PM

Thanks, but she lives an hour away and I don't have a car. How would that work?

**basilandthyme** · 15-04-15, 11:05 PM

It won't work. Find a local girl

**GABrand** · 16-04-15, 04:41 AM

My parent lived 9 hours apart and it worked for them. My grandparents lived 3 hours apart and it worked for them. I only live 1 hour away, why can't it work for me?

**Wakeup** · 16-04-15, 09:02 AM

Originally Posted by GABrand

Thanks, but she lives an hour away and I don't have a car. How would that work?

That's a very good question... how WOULD it work if you can't even visit her or take her out. How did your parents and your grandparents make it work? I think you should seek their advice on this if you're so confident that the distance isn't a problem because it wasn't a problem for them. Find out what they did.

**basilandthyme** · 16-04-15, 02:48 PM

Originally Posted by GABrand

My parent lived 9 hours apart and it worked for them. My grandparents lived 3 hours apart and it worked for them. I only live 1 hour away, why can't it work for me?

Because you don't have any method of transport to go see her and actually take her on dates. Do you think she'll wait around for you when other, more local boys want to take her on dates and movies and hold her and kiss her? Proximity IS important - especially if one desires actual time together and physical contact.

**GABrand** · 17-04-15, 08:07 PM

Basilandthyme, I know you're trying to help. But I first posted on this website to get advice on how to make this work, not to be told that it will never work. All you have done is discourage me, I know its going to be hard. But I don't care what you think, I will do whatever it takes to make it work, and even if it doesn't work sure I'll be bumbed, sure I'll be mad. But atleast I will know that I tryed.
"Anything is possible if you put your mind to it" -Einstein

**Wakeup** · 18-04-15, 09:22 AM

Einstein also said: "Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the definition of insanity."

You have no car and you have no financial means to get to her. I need to ask you why you would waste your time online with her when you could be pursuing young women that live close enough for you to go on over to their house and she to yours and you can hang out and go to movies with and kiss and hold hands and actually get to know the REAL girl instead of the fantasy girl of online?

"At least you'll know you tried." Tried what? To be in a waste of your good time and emotions based on words without action to back them up? Now that's insanity.

You can do better. Know that and you won't care that you didn't try.

- - - Updated - - -

BTW: What did your parents and grandparents say about how they made their long distance relationships work? Were they able to see each other often? Were their relationships arranged by their parents? How did they nurture their relationship?

**GABrand** · 18-04-15, 06:05 PM

Ambrose Bierce once said "Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage."

Trust me, if there were any girls worth dating near where I lived than I'd be dating them. How is it a waste? To waste something means to use something for no purpose. I do have a purpose, so by definition I am not "wasting" my time.

Why are you so intent on convincing me that it's impossible for me to have a relationship with this girl? Why can't you just admit that there is a chance that this will work?

I'm the kind of person that when I want something, I will keep trying and trying until either I get what I want or I find that it's impossible. No matter what you say I will keep trying, so please don't post here again. This forum wasn't worth it, I wanted advice on how to make this work not somebody telling me it can't work.

As for my parents, they wrote letters to each other constantly and when the occasion allowed it they spent as much time as they could together. And no, their relationships were not arranged. If they can do it so can I.

**Wakeup** · 19-04-15, 08:46 AM

Why are you so intent on convincing me that it's impossible for me to have a relationship with this girl?

Because you came here for advise and when you can't meet up with someone then you are not having a "relationship" you are having chat buddy who you think you have feelings for. Do you honestly think that any girl worth having is going to want to spend her love life on a computer chatting with someone rather then getting out there and actually enjoying their company in the real world? I think you do so ...

You go ahead though... that's the thing about life... sadly we learn by our mistakes which hopefully we don't repeat in the future.

As for your parents and grandparents. It was a different time then and neither of them had the options that kids today have when it comes to meeting members of the opposite sex. A thousand opportunities to be introduced to a guy or a girl is just a click away with all these online dating sites, by attending school in different places then our home towns and all the other things that are available to us now that were not when your grandparents or your parents were courting.

Anyway, I wish you good luck. You are going to need it. Perhaps your parents could lend you their car or drive you half way to meet this girl in person and get to know her that way rather then the superficial and artificial way such as texting and computer chat. Do your best to be face to face with her and don't think that "you have feelings for her" already. You don't even know her ffs.

**GABrand** · 19-04-15, 11:34 AM

Thank you for wishing me luck, I will need it. And you are right, I don't know her well enough to have feelings for her. But there is something about her that I keep finding myself thinking about her. I will find any way to spend time face to face with her, and I will do anything I can to make this work.

**Wakeup** · 19-04-15, 11:46 AM

Stick around and contribute your own thoughts to other's threads as you go on your adventure with this girl. If it works out and you become a tangible couple then I'll be the first to congratulate you. If it doesn't, then I'll give you advise on how to overcome your disappointment.

Either way... it will be an experience that will form the man you will become.

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