Divorce?

[Matt0311]

Hello,

Here's my situation,
I'm separated and in the process of going through the final steps of divorcing my wife, we met in high school and were very close we've been together for the better half of 7 years. I also recently separated from the Marine Corps, so my life is in shambles right now. A little background information, we met in high school, stayed together until senior year when I left for boot camp, before my first deployment as I came home and we began a relationship again, when I came home from Afghanistan, being the foolish kid I was, I married her on post-deployment leave. I moved her from South Dakota to North Carolina and we with that we began our life together. I had a drinking problem that surfaced as well as psychological issues that troubled her. She asked me to seek help but I was stubborn, and refused. We stuck it out together, had good times but also fought a lot, we were just happy to actually be together, we felt that our love could pull us through anything based on everything we'd been through together. As time went on, I continued to drink and deployed again and came home. In her words, I became more bitter and less affectionate, like less emotional, it was hard for me to talk to her.
Despite major fights and such we held it together, my chain of command never found out about my marital problems at home, I still refused counseling until the day I got out. We came back home to South Dakota and tried it for awhile until we both came to the agreement that things would be best if we weren't together, she was tired of the person I became and I was tired of seeing her miserable. She's a great person, nurturing and amazing, I planned my future around her but we just couldn't seem to get a long. Current situation is that we decided that she keeps two of our three dogs and just her stuff, the truck, furniture etc. I keep and we split the debt 50/50. Inside I feel like I don't want to start with someone else but I know it will never work between the two of us. I know that you can love someone and not be together but I just don't know what to about the future, I feel like I don't want to be with anyone. I'm not feeling sorry for myself because I know that if I was a better husband we wouldn't be in this predicament.

[woody]

Sounds like you've chosen the bottle over a good woman and I'm sorry to say, but that's going to haunt you for however long it takes.
I sympathize with your situation; and hers.
If you drink every day and often too much each time your home from work, that'll be enough to drive any sane person away.
You need to dose yourself on some self love there man. Figure out why the need to daily drink like you do, where's it coming from and how do you tell it to F off and leave you and your lady alone.
You need help. If you don't get it, battling the bottle will lead you through a pattern of broken hearts, wayside dreams and regret.
You owe it to yourself first and foremost to figure this out and do right, by and for you.
You have got to get a grip; save your life and get a grip.
here's hoping. Tap into it.

[Wakeup]

What happened in your childhood to make you think that you need alcohol over a good woman whom you love?

Why do you refuse to get counselling for your addiction followed by a good 12 step programme and her getting help with the aid of alanon.

I also wonder why the two of you gave up on one another instead of trying to work through it with the help of a third party professional.

What makes you so apathetic to your own best interests, your wife's love for you and your future even since as what woody says... most women worth having will not put up with your indifference and putting the bottle before them. You may get yourself someone just like you though... does that sound appealing?

Strive to be the best you that you can be for YOU. The rest of the good stuff will follow. Keep on keeping on and you will slide down further and further.