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Thread: What does this mean?

  1. #1
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    What does this hug mean?

    Hi. This guy I know gave me a wonderful hug. He's kinda close to me (not a love interest) but somehow we had never hugged before. When we did, it was much longer than I thought it would be. Which was great!

    Our arms were crossed and our hands on each others upper back. We both held on for a while (5 seconds? 10? IDK) and he felt soft and warm. I didn't have (m)any thoughts, I just enjoyed the embrace. Then he pulls me in tighter and we hold on for another while. I can't remember which one of us let go first, I think it was mutually. But it was a slow release. I don't know what happened right afterwards, if I looked at him or not. My mind is blank there. All I know is that it was good and not uncomfortable.

    What can you tell from this? What might he have been feeling or thinking?
    Last edited by Hello888; 21-04-15 at 12:40 PM.

  2. #2
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    Does anybody have any ideas? Could really use your insights!

  3. #3
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    What could he have been thinking? Who the fk really knows in this day and age of opposite sex friendships that cross the platonic boundaries that platonic friends should have?

    It could mean that he sees you as a great little sister type that he is quite fond of but would never consider a romantic love interest and went ahead and crossed a platonic boundary or: It could mean that he has some romantic interest in you but doesn't think you're his type so instead of actually asking you out, he plays these little attraction games that confuse everyone.

    What DO YOU want it to mean?
    That is what is important and that is what we should be advising you on.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  4. #4
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    I guess he's more of a brother to me then someone I'd be dating. Don't you think he was just showing affection, in a friend/family way, not a romantic way?

  5. #5
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    That's what I'm saying... who knows? It could either be that he crossed platonic friends boundaries by taking a hug to far or it could be that he is physically attracted to you, likes you more the platonic friends and was enjoying a moment of arousal with you.

    You didn't say what it was that you hoped it meant? Do you want to be more then a brother/sister type of affection he showed to you?
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  6. #6
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    No I don't.

    Would it be more appropriate if we were to say hello after a long time or say goodbye or something like that? Just wondering.
    Last edited by Hello888; 23-04-15 at 03:07 AM.

  7. #7
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    Not sure what you mean, "hello888" Are you asking if you should just "say" your hello's and goodbye's rather then hugging?

    If that's the case and if you don't want him to get the idea that you want to be more then his "sister" then yes, just saying it rather then showing it would be the best approach, IMO.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  8. #8
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    I can understand the confusion about my question. I meant something else. If someone I'm close to gave me a hug like this on saying goodbye for a longer period of time or when meeting each other after a long time. Would it be more suitable for a situation like that?

    I do like the thing you wrote though, that's good to keep in mind. I don't want to lead him on.

  9. #9
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    I meant something else. If someone I'm close to gave me a hug like this on saying goodbye for a longer period of time or when meeting each other after a long time. Would it be more suitable for a situation like that?
    Yes... completely normal to want to hug someone you haven't seen in a long time.

    My best friend came into town just this weekend ... last time I seen her was at Christmas so we hugged for a good long "so good to see you again" platonic hug.

    If he's not giving you any other signals that he wants to be more then your friend then just enjoy the friendship.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  10. #10
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    Not all guys have ulterior motives! Some guys just want a hug from a friend, that's it!

    If you want to know what he's thinking, ask him.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

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