Hi guys,
Firstly please don't pre-judge me by my username haha, I made it a few years ago.
Ok so I am very confused with this guy I've been dating for 3.5 months, and I would really appreciate some male advice. The first month he was extremely interested, I saw him twice a week and he messaged me a lot every day. The past 2.5 months his been hot and cold with me, but he still consistently makes plans with me each week. Sometimes only once a week, but I'd say more often twice a week.
These are my concerns:
1. He has never tried to have sex with me. We've been doing everything but intercourse for what feels like forever now. The past month I feel he has avoided any situation where sex could occur. I haven't initiated because whenever I feel ready, he distances himself and then when I see him I don't feel comfortable doing it anymore.
2. He's been hot and cold in terms of his communication with me in between dates for the past 2 or so months. Some weeks he contacts me a LOT, then other weeks I'll barely hear from him. More and more frequently he leaves me hanging in text conversations, so I feel like I have to wait until he contacts me next. I've noticed he tends to pull away more after a really great date, or a really great couple of weeks, when it feels like things are progressing towards a relationship.
3. About 5 weeks ago my friend discovered he had reactivated his dating profile, but he deactivated it immediately after she viewed his profile. I decided not to mention it and he was clearly freaking out about it, as he messaged me first thing the next morning and really lifted his game the next 3 weeks.
4. He met my parents a while ago and it didn't appear to freak him out, it was all good. I still haven't met his parents (who he lives with) and he still keeps me separate from the rest of his life.
We are both shy and reserved people, so we've been moving slowly and never talk about any touchy subjects. I keep meaning to bring these things up but I chicken out. So this brings me to the present week.. We went on a dinner date Monday night and he seemed to be in a really sweet mood, we opened up more about our past and how shy we both were with the opposite sex growing up. I thought we were connecting and he didn't seem to want the date to end, it took a while to stop kissing and actually say goodbye. I could see that he was really into me. He messaged me Tuesday night and we exchanged a few texts before he left me hanging and I haven't heard from him since (it's Friday afternoon). Maybe I'm overreacting but I've been dating this guy 3.5 months and his gone MIA like this several times now after a great date! Every time I think his lost interest he ends up asking me out again, but every time I still freak out that maybe his disappearing for good.
I'm sure a conversation about everything will happen soon, but I'd really appreciate some male perspectives first because I have no idea how to approach this. I've really fallen for this guy but I just don't understand, he doesn't seem ready for sex or a relationship.. So what is he even doing with me?! Is he dating other girls and just using me until someone better comes along?