Online relationship help

[mrconfusedhead]

Hi, new here so forgive me if im posting in the wrong place i was just wondering what peoples views are on this situation.

8 weeks ago, i got randomly chatting to a girl in London, she is asian(nepal) and we orig just chatted for fun as i guess everyone starts out. Currently she doesn't have many friends if any, and not working so we kind of got chatting through both of being bored i guess and she just broke up with a ex so was sad.

We are similar age, but difference is im abit overweight, im around 16 stone she has openly said from day one she can't be attracted to someone who is not in shape. Im currently in process of losing weight(not just for her), but for myself also as im not happy how i look. We get on very well outside this issue, we currently have a trip booked for 2 day break next week, which we will be staying in the same bed at a hotel for 2 nights.

We are just meeting for fun(cuddles and a laugh), no sex or anything, but we talk about dating, and she calls it a "date". Everyday we usually get on so well but if she ever sees me in a pic, or on cam, it makes her tell me we will not date till im in shape which gets me down at times.

Other week she took a 2 day break from me cause she said she needed time to get over ex, she warned me when we met this is how she deals with stuff backing off for day or two. Anyway today i told her i ordered her flowers, cards and chocolate which arrive tomorrow, she got really annoyed saying i was trying force her family to find out about me, that i was trying to make her like me quicker before i lost my weight. Which was not the case i just wanted to do something nice for her.

Now shes said, she needs another break and "talk to you later" but ive no clue when she will be back, i can't believe her reaction over some harmless flowers. It feels like shes ashamed to show me off or for her family to know about me, we are meeting in secret(my family know, hers don't). My friends told me from start not to bother with someone who can't accept you for who i am, but she is really nice and says im angel and such stuff but then has these moments.

I don't feel i have done anything wrong, yet im the one made to feel bad and can't message her now till she decides she wants to talk. With the trip away like 5 days i don't want any breaks or her being mad or annoyed, but i also feel like im just being a doormatt.

What should i do ? Am i in the wrong ?

[basilandthyme]

Sorry mate, but I think your instincts are dead on. And your friends are right.

I think it's great that you're getting yourself in shape. But the amount of weight you're talking about will take a year or more to lose if you're doing it in a controlled manner. Do you really think that you and she will be happy to wait around in a non-relationship for a year?

Let me also point out that those with weight problems frequently battle weight for the rest of their lives. Yes, I have seen some people reset their base weight lines, but I've seen far more who have ongoing issues in controlling it forever. No, it doesn't mean you should give up! But it does mean that you need a partner who can still love you if you are constantly stepping forward and back with your weight as you maintain it.

I suggest you cancel the holiday. If you are the one who paid for it, try and get whatever refund you can. It sounds to me like she's about to ghost on you anyway.

Good riddance to bad rubbish.