She wants a break

[Jaygpm]

My girlfriend told me this weekend that she wants a break/space. We have been discussing getting engaged so this really surprised me. I have never been in a relationship where we took a break. In my mind, asking for a break is a prelude to a breakup. Am I wrong? Any advice? I thought we were happy and I don't want the relationship to end.

[basilandthyme]

I agree with you. A break is a prelude to a breakup.

What reasons does she give for wanting a break?

[Jaygpm]

She says she doesn't think we have enough in common. Which is really strange because we seem to have very similar interests and values. She has literally pointed this out many times to me. It makes no sense.

[basilandthyme]

OK, so what does she think a break will achieve? Are you going to agree to the break or tell her "all or nothing"?

[Wakeup]

How long have you been dating?
Has she been acting sketchy in any way in the last little while at all?

[eve.ashley]

Taking a break IS breaking up.

It's a way to say, I want freedom of being single, but I am not entirely sure I will like it, and might want to get back together soon.

I personally find it better and more desirable than if my partner was miserable but did not ask for a break....That's just my personal preference.

People look at being on a break from two angels, famously depicted in FRIENDS the sitcom.

As being free to do whatever you want, even stuff frowned upon, like jumping into other people's beds right the moment you decide to take a break (up)...the way Ross has...

Or being all self righteous about the other side waiting a while and respecting your partners or ex partners feelings...

The way Rachel was outraged Ross had sex the same night they broke up a long term relationship...
Or not so much even broke up as angrily and abruptly suggested so, and just as angrily agreed.

Whether you are team Rachel or team Ross on this one, a break is just that, taking a break from the relationship.

It implies a better chance of getting back together than a break up, but it's still a type of break up with all elements of it...Like being single...

Sorry...

I hope you get her back.

Don't lose hope and do not go down without a fight. Fight for her, but remember that that included sometimes giving you partner the space they need and asked for...

Give her her space and try not to get ego hurt over it. Pride has nothing to do with dignity, don't confuse the two....

She is actually being honest and honoring both her and your human dignity, so don't let your pride get in the way of respecting her and her needs and dignity and also fighting for her...

What I mean is, tell her you love her and you want to be there if she realizes the break was not all she thought it will be, but also that you won't be waiting around forever and might start dating again yourself...

In fact if you did start casually dating people, it would take your mind off the break (up), but if you aren't ready, you were recently engaged after all, don't do it as some sort of strategy to make her jealous...Only if you will actually enjoy it...

Good luck, I wish you well.