Getting over girlfriend and new girlfriend

[Chock]

All,

New to forum and looking for some advise.

I just broke off a relationship with a wonderful girl that I've known for 8 years and seriously for 2 years. We had a pretty good relationship for the most part and did a lot of fun things. However, we disagreed seriously about some trust and control issues that we never solved and I didn't see where it could be solved, even with counseling. I get terribly hurt when she often accused me of lying and doing things that I just didn't do. She had a history that showed this and never had a lasting relationship with any man that didn't end bitterly and/or divorce. Should have been a red flag but thought I was different.

I left her several weeks ago and am in the process of totally forgetting about her. Don't talk, write, email, text, excepting a quick text from her if she goes to a place where we could meet (which I avoid), about once a week or so, which I can live with. I've gone thru the usual things in eliminating anything that reminds me of her and trying not to do things that remind me of her. It's hard, but working.

I'm also seeing a new lady that I had been involved with for a long time relationship and wanting to rekindle that. It was a pretty quick transition and not sure it would work, but heard from a mutual friend that she was very interested in getting back together. The new lady knows of the situation but I don't talk about it much, as I don't want to upset her. She is very understanding and things have been working out quite well, so far. I don't want her as a rebound and don't believe it will be that way as we know each other quite well. The differences we had in the past are not anymore.

My goal is to just get the old GF totally out of my mind and think it's going too slow (but working). We were extremely close last year, living and planning a life together. Any additional ideas to help the process along?

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[CrasherRob8]

Seems like you're doing everything pretty well, though does your ex text you once a week to meet up? If so here's what I would do. Block her number on your cell phone so that you don't receive texts from her. Her texting you is her way of not letting you forget about her. If you block her number you no longer get that reminder.

With your new lady, take it slow since you just got out of a long term relationship which was pretty serious.

[Chock]

Seems like you're doing everything pretty well, though does your ex text you once a week to meet up? If so here's what I would do. Block her number on your cell phone so that you don't receive texts from her. Her texting you is her way of not letting you forget about her. If you block her number you no longer get that reminder.

With your new lady, take it slow since you just got out of a long term relationship which was pretty serious.

Crasher,

No, the text she sends it to tell me when she will be there so we can avoid each other. I don't believe she's interested in seeing me either. She simply text, "Im going to be there Tues" and I reply "K".... and don't go. Eventually that will end, but I want to be totally over by then.

You mentioned long term relationship.... this was only two years, and I'd call that pretty short, even thought I knew her for 8 years, and had no interest until she started hitting on me. Since I've known her she has had several relationships, all that ended bitterly, none which lasted more than 2 years. Should have been a red flag.

However, we did get pretty involved and perhaps I took things more serious that she did, and it will take me time to recover (which is working, but slow). I think we both knew it wouldn't work long term without some serious commitment and trust with each other.