Can any man shed any light on this weird behavior?

[LauraH]

I'm a completely normal person, and can't even believe I have gotten to the point of a man making me so confused that I am posting on an internet forum for advice, but I feel completely confused by the behavior of a man I have come to care about and wnated to know what could be going through his head and why he cats like this

We met online. He asked me out first, he wasn't pushy like many of the guys on there, we just chatted and became friends first and chattered for weeks. He was more keen than me.

He is not exactly the best looking guy, he has an ok job but he's not educated, he's had a bad relationship history with being divorced from a woman who stopped loving him, and then being cheated on (he works overseas a lot) by his next long term relationship. He admits he has some pretty serious issues with pushing people away, trusting people and opening up and he is the most stubborn, prideful guy I have ever come across.

I am probably a lot more attractive than he is (not saying this to sound egotistical but to give a picture) and have a very high level job, come from a wealthier background and I know he finds this a little intimidating. I have also been cheated on, but I am much more open, carefree, direct and settled in myself than he is.

Without sitting there writing a huge dialogue, the basic issue is that this man makes me crazy. What he does is to spend forever texting me, video chatting with me, asking intimate questions, telephoning me and saying he misses me and can;t wait to see me - but then he backs away from ACTUAL face to face dates.

We have actually only met once in three months (to be fair, we are both overseas A LOT with our work) so in that three months there has been only three weeks we were both together in the country at the same time. What I would expect though is that during that time he would take advantage and see me as much as possible -but he doesn't.

the one time we did meet up, I had to be quite pushy to get there. I basically said "I want to meet tonight", he did come over that night and took me out but it was obvious he was very scared and nervous. It was wonderful. He saw me and instantly started kissing me, and we were both just smiling constantly and could not stop kissing and hugging. He held my hand, he kept cuddling me saying he'd been an idiot not to have had the balls to do it sooner and said he was sorry for being such an idiot. He called the next day to say he'd not been able to stop thinking about me, then we made a second date for three days later. It was all fantastic, and then he pulled away completely again and the second date didn't happen.

He's not married or living with anyone. He has never once asked for a naughty pic (although he asks for pics all the time of what I am doing, or my shoes, or my dress) and he didn't try for sex on our date so I don't think he's a player or after sex from me. If I walk away...he comes back to me and asks for another chance (he's very stubborn so this often takes days) so it's like he doesn't want to lose me, but also doesn't want to have me

Can anyone give me any insight into this? I have crossed off all the obvious answers. Married...nope. After sex...nope. Seeing someone else....possibly...but if he WAS...surely he'd be wanting to see me instead of just text me? I am his friend on FB and no evidence of dating anyone.

I am just totally lost here. I HAVE asked him, but the problem is he just denies he is avoiding seeing me and says he is busy and stuff. He has said stuff like "I like uo quite a bit, I have just lost the ability to show quite how much", but I am thinking...surely this is BS...if he liked me...why not come see me!????

[basilandthyme]

You're absolutely right - if he liked you enough, he would make time to see you. Though I don't know why you'd want to date a "stubborn, prideful guy" who pushes people away and has trust issues. Can't you do better?

That being said, if both of you are so busy and overseas so much that you can only see each other sporadically, then what's the point of trying to start a relationship?

Set your standards a bit higher. And forget about trying to have a relationship till you've got time to do it properly.

[LauraH]

Well the answer there is that both of us have jobs that mean when we are not overseas, we're not working at all. So in the last three months we could have spent all of those three weeks together...no work..just us. That was what we planned to do when we talked. I admit a very busy time lately but it is not always so busy.

[basilandthyme]

Only three weeks in three months? That's not enough time to build a relationship.

Anyway, it all still goes back to what you said in the first post - if he was into you, he'd have made time

[Showmesomelove]

No idea? Not very helpful is it
Sorry x

[woody]

Are you sure your not getting played? Good guy spans out for the first time. Meets lady online, starts flirting but is reluctant to go all the way out of some obligation to the Ms's back home?
OR,
he's taking it slow.

You'll have to follow your gut on this one. Personally and in my humble opinion, you ought not get too wrapped up in him quite yet. There are gaps you must fill first. From the hot to cold to gee, what's the connection like in the ol sack. but mainly, are you something on the side? very important deciding factors.

not much help sorry but uh, good luck

[Wakeup]

How are you so sure he's not married?

[basilandthyme]

old thread

[Wakeup]

old thread

New answers! Lol

[basilandthyme]

Damn. I forgot that this is an old thread and checked the update.

[Wakeup]

That's okay... 90% of New Posters don't come back to see their answers anyway... New or Old threads.