This will be a long post, so thank you to anyone who manages to read it all, and give valid constructive advice (Because I really need it right now)


Starting off: I am 23 years old, single and I joined the army about 17 months ago. While in basic training I met this guy, for lack of names lets call him John. Well after basic John and I got stationed at the same base, and I became great friends with him, and his wife (again, for lack of names, lets call her Jane)

A few months went by and everything was great, then John deployed. Me being a single soldier, was forced to live in the barracks, so a few months ago he offered me to live at his house while he was deployed, to help his wife out and what not, so I did. His wife quickly became one of my best friends I have ever had, and we spent every single day and night together. She even started sleeping out on the other couch so we could hang out more. After a while of us being friends, somehow I can't remember if she suggested it, or I did, but we got the idea for me to start giving her massages. That continued on for a few weeks and everything was normal and fine. After a while, of spending every day together I started to develop some sort of feelings for her, but I couldn't decide what they were. skipping ahead, to yesterday her husband came back from deployment. Naturally I was attached emotionally to his wife, I didn't like the sight of them together, so I made excuses to leave the room, or drive somewhere, and ofcourse after living with me for so long, she could tell I had a problem with it. So one time when I leave she starts texting me asking what is wrong, and I told her "I can't tell you" and she is like "Is it about me? Tell me! I know what I will or won't like" then she was like "I think I already know, Just tell me" and after numerous texts of her saying she already knew, I told her. She actually did know I developed something for her, but I guess she hoped she was wrong. I told her I had liked her for a while now, and instantly everything changed. She went from the nice caring girl I had grown attached too, to someone totally different. She said she felt so guilty for the massages and it was going to be so awkward now. I instantly felt terrible and hated life, so I took her husband aside and I came clean, and told him everything, how I felt, what happened via massages, everything. He completely understood and was reasonable and even told me he still wanted me to live with them. (nothing sexual ever happened, I could never of let it anyway, he is my best friend) Now I spent like 2 hours talking her to, trying to convince her the massages were platonic, not romantic and I am not sure if she is convinced or not, but I think honestly, I didn't have many feelings for her at those times anyway. She is acting all weird and I need some help to decide what to say or do, do I just cut ties and let her live her life? She said she still wants to be my friend , and she would try to act like I never told her anything, but I can tell by her actions its really bothering her, and I feel so terrible because she really is my best friend. I don't know why I told her i had feelings for her, because whatever I did have, was far far far out weighed by my friendship with her and her husband, my morals to never cheat on anyone, or let someone cheat with me. I want her to go back to normal like we were friends before, is this possible? Any girls out there have a similar situation happen? Is this possible to come back from? Please any advice is so greatly appreicated.