Any hope to salvage a brand new love?

[Nerrat8705]

Last week I met a man online and we had our first date on Tuesday. The date went very well and he expressed how much he enjoyed it. I was really happy and excited because I knew that I liked him and wanted to see him again.

On that Friday afternoon, he invited me over to his house to hang out and talk. While there, he expressed how much he liked me, how he had just gotten out of a 2-year relationship 6 months ago and how he would rather be in relationships than date around. He told me that he really liked me and that he didn't want to lose me to anyone on the dating site so we both agreed to deactivate our profiles.We were looking directly into each other's eyes and I genuinely felt like he was sincere and after being out of a relationship for 2 years I felt like we were on the same page with wanting monogamy.

After that we had sex then went out to dinner where he was extremely sweet and attentive. We spent time together again on Sunday cuddling and watching TV. Everything was great. I invited him to a wedding and he wanted to go. It all felt so promising, but my anxiety about past dating woes began to weigh on me when on Monday evening, my calls and texts to him went unanswered.

I was suspicious, PMSing, emotional and doubting everything he had said wondering if he had only said it to get sex. My out of control emotions led me to drive by his house where I saw that he was home (in spite of saying he works nights parttime) and there was another car outside.

In the morning, I made the decision to stake out at his house to see who was driving the car. Sure enough, another woman emerged from the front door. They hugged each other goodbye, she went on her way and I went up to say something to him. He invited me inside where he accused me of being crazy and explained himself saying the girl was just a friend who had crashed at his house. There was no arguging, no screaming, I wasn't even upset. I believed what he said and immediately felt so silly and embarrassed for coming over. Furthermore, I didn't really have much to say as far as why I was there. I immeditately knew I had made a mistake.

We hugged goodbye and later that evening he sent a text saying that he didn't think that we should see each other anymore and that what I did was disappointing because he really did like me.

I'm crushed. I like him too and I feel as though my spontaneous poorly thought out actions have cost me a good man. Though he wasn't innocent with his actions, I feel like it was very early on and that I overracted over something that we could have easily just talked about.

I just want to know if there's any hope of rectifying this. I saw that he got right back on the dating app. I figured that I'd give it a little time and maybe try to reach out again and hope that he's receptive. What if any advice do you guys have? Please be nice. I feel bad enough. I feel totally smothered by regret and embarrassment.

[Fuzzyfeeling]

I would highly advise if you move on, based on your actions i can assure you it may not be successful even if he did accept you back ,which is another impossibility. We learn from our mistakes and it's nothing to be ashamed of.
If you're thinking of pursuing him , put yourself in his shoes and try to think of a reason why would he mend things with you😉

[basilandthyme]

I'm sorry , there's nothing you can do to salvage this. Best advice is to learn from it and get yourself back out there.

Also, try to slow it down in future. Inviting a guy you've had two dates with to be your +1 at a wedding is rushing it. I know all seemed wonderful, but at this early stage it's worth taking one day at a time. Or one date at a time.

[jace0730]

Im sorry this happend and can tell you i have somewhat been there. pick up and move on first of all and second dont stake out his house its creepy i had guy do it to me after a couple of good dates and it freaked me out. He was a sweet guy and i ran into him years later and it was very weird. Try not to go to fast i have been the one going fast and been on the oher end of the man going to fast SLOW DOWN and take it slow if you want anything to come out of a relationship If its ment to be it will happen.. Good Luck

[milk&honey]

I agree, slow down. You'll learn from this and take it slow the next time

[lillylove123]

Move on and slow down.