Around 3 months ago I broke up with my partner of around 3 years it was a massive sudden shock to me as I was under the impression everything between me and him was amazing. We often discussed our future together we lived together and regrettably we would never argue really never say a bad word against each other and never shout at each other.

The one thing I have to tell you is there is a big age gap, I'm 29 and he's 20 we are in a gay relationship I met him when he was young and we had a great time together he was my best friend.

First of all he approached me and told me that he needed space from me, understandably I was very upset as I didn't know why this was the case as I thought everything was fine, it took me a while to adjust from this and it then went down hill from here leading to a break up. He originally told me that he feels like his life was sorted for him too early on and that if he would of met me down the line it would have been amazing then he started telling me that he was afraid of going out as he believed I wouldn't allow him to, this stems from his meeting new friends through work and basically seeing that they have no attachments and can go and basically do what they want. I am extremely hurt with all this as he is in uni at the moment and he chose not to have a social life in the first year as he hated it and always wanted to spend time with me and come and stay at mine and now I feel that he has just put me to one side after I put my social life to one side for him.

I asked him to talk to me and he just chose to ignore me and spend time away with his mates and ignore what was going on, this resulted in me suffering a lot attempting to take my own life and going through depression.
At the same time within his group of friends is a guy which I've never liked who is older then me and is gross and he is close to this lad he can talk to him about different things and I know they get on well, I was adamant that there was something going on between them and I approached him about it and he denied it, I felt that it was my head just trying to find something to blame.

As time went on we actually started to calm down a bit as we had to live in same flat due to a contract there but at no point during the period of him telling me and him being in the flat did he show any emotion towards the break up he just distracted him self, 3weeks ago he moved out and I saw a massive change In him, the day before he moved out he cried on me and had a breakdown and on the day he moved out he was a wreck, the guy that he was friendly with helped him move and he was getting upset whilst moving, now the same guy who I mentioned earlier had offered to put him up in a spare room for the summer as after then he is going to be back into uni and a house, it took me a while to allow that to sink in but I actually took reassurance In the fact he was staying with someone that had a brain and I knew would be there for him rather then him staying on someone's sofa! I actually contacted this lad to tell him this and he thanked me.

During the 3 weeks that he has been away I have felt amazing I've got an improved social life I feel better In myself and don't really think about him, we had booked a holiday to go on together and he chose obviously not to come and I took a friend as well, now during the holiday I noticed on social media that he was putting comments like he was confused and like he was meant to be on holiday as well as him contacting me texting me saying that it's sad out it was our holiday and he had tracked my flight to make sure I was ok so I got a different side to him.

A few days before I came home he messaged me asking when I was off work as he wanted to meet up I told him and a few days after I returned he came back to the flat, the first time in 3 weeks I saw him and it was like seeing a long lost friend his face lit up he came and hugged me he kissed me and it was nice, we were chatting about the holiday and then I asked him how his love life was and he told me that he needed to tell me something, so he sat me down and held my hand and you could tell he was getting upset and he basically told me that he had done stuff with this lad that he was staying with, I asked him how long it has been going on for and he told me a couple of weeks and it was on 3-4 different occasions, he told me that he had made the move on this guy on the sofa and kissed him and the guy had asked him what he was doing and went ahead with it, he told me it wasn't full on sex it was just messing around I asked him if it had resulted In them going into the bedroom and he told me that on one occasion he had text him and he just walked into this lads rooms.. This is where my issues start

Why did he have to tell me this, I'm single and so is he so why did he feel the need to tell it me?

He told me after that it was a mistake and the last time that they did something the lad had stopped it and told him he needed to sort out his head and make up his mind what he wanted, when I approached my ex and said I was annoyed at this lad for going ahead with it he defended him and said it was his fault.

Should I be annoyed at this other lad as he shouldn't have gone ahead with it as he knew his head was all mashed

My ex then told me that he was confused and didn't know what he wanted and when I asked him which options he was looking at he ruled out getting with this guy and his only options were being with me or single.

I told him that I hadn't done anything with anyone since I spilt from him and I had knocked people back to which you could see he was shocked, he told me that he had heard that I was moving on and going out more, does this mean he only did this to try and forget about me?

He kept on telling me it was a big mistake and every time I asked him questions he started getting annoyed about it and frustrated.

And also he told me that people in work had told him that him and this lad would make a good couple I can't help but think that this is messed him up as well.


The whole thing has made me go back to square one now as I was feeling so good and now I just feel down... Advice please!