Started seeing my exes mate :/

[Pollbay23]

Hi everyone,
I'm in abit of a pickle. My ex and I split up about 4-5months ago due to his aggressive streak. He never touched me but couldn't control his anger or drinking and I just couldn't handle it anymore out of fear really. Anyways a mate of his (they used to be closer but now don't really talk etc) asked me out we have been out on a couple of dates and I really like him and think the feeling is mutual. What do we do? I'm worried that my ex will get violent etc my idea was to make sure that this is what we want then he can ask my ex if he can ask me out (obvs not telling him that we have already been seeing each other) need some advice on what to do!!! I know it seems really bad but can't always help who we like?

[Archie]

It's a bad idea not because your ex will become violent, but because the guy you're going out with is your ex-boyfriends mate! They hang out together, they party together, they talk about boobs together. It would be really awkward if you popped up and spoiled their mateship.You'll have to hang out together, not just you and your new boyfriend but your ex aswell and if he's still not over you, what might be the case, it's going to hurt him.
Now, I understand that you can't help it, you like the guy and that's that, but what you can do, if you haven't already, is being friends with your ex (it's still awkward). It'll be easier for him, alteast slightly.

[Pollbay23]

They don't hang out and haven't done for a while. Not even in the same friendship group anymore. So I would never have to be in the same place as them both as they simply never are. My ex and I tried to stay close but he can just be horrible that I end up resenting being nice to him

[basilandthyme]

I don't see it as being necessarily bad. But I think it would be wise for both of you to distance yourselves from this ex as far as possible. Avoid frequenting venues where he may be, don't have mutual friends and block him on social media (if you're not already doing this)

[Archie]

Oh, so they're acquaintances now, in that case scrath all I said in my last post. Just go on ahead and date that new guy. You don't need to check if it's okay with your ex, since he doesn't figurate in your daily lives, so simply put - just continue your relationship how you've done so far and don't worry.