on and off for 15 years please help

[michele022685]

My now ex have been on and off for 15 years we have an 8 year old together and 4 year old twins. I have a son from the off time and he has a son from an off time we have always overcame things. Anyways he is bipolar which I should mention about 1.5 months ago I was sick of the way he was treating myself and the kids he was verbally abusive and has been for awhile. I know that we shouldnt be together but it's like I'm suffocating every time we split up. He got a 17 year old girlfriend that is " the best thin that's ever happened to him" 2 days after the break up. He is 30 I can't cope without him it's like he is my lifeline and I don't know what to do.

I am hurt confused angry jealous I just cry all the time go to work and take care of the kids which he hasn't seen since being with this girl. Do I just let go move on and think of my kids I am so so hurt :'(

[Wakeup]

Do you let go and move on? Who the fk are you trying to kid?

Just learn to shut up and take him as the part-time baby maker he is to you. You need too much help to be able to just leave and stay gone.

You might consider having your tubes tied if you're going to be supplementing him while you're "off" though. Enough is enough.

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As for my advise that if you are serious about feeling better about yourself and your lot.

Get yourself to your doctor and tell him you need help with your depression and your lack of self esteem and that you are being abused and have been by a man off and on for 15 years and can he suggest a therapist that you can afford or a social service that can help you to get over your addiction to this dysfunctional addiction to this man.

[michele022685]

Thanks for the advice..... I have stayed gone for 1.5 months and am learning to let go. My children seem happier and my tubes are tied thanks for the adbixe

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Advice * oops typo

[Wakeup]

You're not going to choose a good man for yourself as long as you have the issues you have right now. Go to the doctor and get the professional help you need to be able to tell this man it's over, get proper child support payments in place and learn to love yourself so that you truly believe you deserve better then what you accept.

If you don't work on YOU then you will just pick someone just like him (as you have as evidenced by the child whose father is no longer in your life conceived when you were on a break from the first douche bag you've had father your children).

If you don't get the help for yourself then go get it for your children so that they have at least one happy, healthy, functioning adult with good personal boundaries and a solid positive role model. Anything less and you're training them to accept abusive garbage just like you've been doing.

Harsh? Yes. But you need to get moving on being the best you that you can be and I don't think empathy is what you need right now. (although I am sorry for your pain and the fact that you are uneducated about self-love and personal boundaries).

[michele022685]

My children are in therapy because of this situation and legal papers have been started...I know harsh is what is needed I woke up just the other day and decided it didn't matter anymore I'm just going to be happy....and I have a referral to my own therapist

[Wakeup]

I'm glad they are getting help. You don't want them thinking that their family dynamic is normal and how things are.

It's also good that you have been referred to your own personal counsellor as well. You're on the right track now so don't cave and allow this man to hoover you back yet again. He needs plenty of his own therapy which he'd never agree to getting. She's his problem now so be grateful for her helping you to get rid of him.

Count your blessings.