He said he loved me...now he’s full of excuses

[NikkiLister]

I met a guy in March this year, I can safely say he started out as my dream man. I wont go into too much detail but the chemistry was immense, we clicked and got along amazingly. It’s definitely worth mentioning that he is in the Army and a week after I met him he was sent away to America for 2 months of training. We spoke every day whilst he was away, texts and facetime, conversation was always great. Just before he came home he told me he thought he loved me and that (although he wasn’t sure before) wanted us to be in a relationship. He asked me to go away with him on holiday and started making future plans with me, simple stuff like where we could go for dinner, nights out etc.

So, he returned. He came straight to see me the day he got back home, we had an amazing night in watching movies and we finally slept together for the first time. Obviously I felt like this was ok, because he had told me he wanted me as his girlfriend so to me, there was monogamy. I would not have let my guard down in this way otherwise.

The week following this was great but communication had become slightly less. To be expected, I thought, it won’t be so intense once he is home. We arranged to go out the following weekend and did, it was great, until the next morning, something felt off although nothing bad had happened. He went home, said he would pick me up and take me out the next day. He never came. His excuse was that he’d been out with friends the night before and was really hungover. I accepted it for what it was. Things went down hill from there, texting became less frequent. until i asked the burning question, is everything ok?

He told me he was going to be away a lot and wasn’t sure if he wanted a girlfriend. I was pissed and told him he had really confused me by contradicting himself so much. He said he did want to see me and really liked me. This was 2 months ago. We still talk but it’s lacking, 3 weeks ago I stayed over at his place and yes, ‘‘it’’ happened, i felt weak and stupid. The day after, he went away for 3 weeks - i stupidly left my watch at his.

I’m now trying to meet him to get my watch back, but he’s making lame excuses that he’s working late etc, things that never stopped him before from seeing me. He says he really wants to see me and he thinks i’m amazing and he really likes me still, but acts the total opposite. I know I should just sack him off but he’s really got under my skin and by continuing to tell me he wants to see me and likes me he’s not allowing me to move on because I have that slither of hope. Guys - did he ever actually have feelings for me or is he just full of lies? Whats the best way to approach this situation?

Thanks

[Wakeup]

This is a case of listening to his words without seeing any actions to back them up.

Sorry this happened to you. He's going to be travelling and not be able to date you much if he's in the Army so it was a long shot from the beginning that it would last past the honeymoon stage.

I'm not sure why you gave so much of your emotions and physical self when you barely knew him and you new he'd be out of town and unable to nurture anything to a good solid union.

Oh well... Let him to his dawging and chalk it up to a good time that had a shelf life. No biggie... you barely knew him after all so just be disappointed and then get on with dating men but taking it slower.

STOP BELIEVING WHAT HE SAYS TO YOU. It's just words he knows you want to hear to keep you on the string for sex when he gets around to it. Words without actions to back them up are just words.

Get him to send your watch to you in the mail or leave it somewhere and you'll pick it up if its that important to you and keep in mind that; subconsciously leaving something behind to give you a reason to keep initiating contacting him is just keeping you with an unbalanced attachment. End the contact for good.

[basilandthyme]

>>Guys - did he ever actually have feelings for me or is he just full of lies? Whats the best way to approach this situation?<<

He was infatuated with you. Infatuation is at the start of most relationships. While those feelings are so intense and overwhelming, they are also a trick of hormones and adrenaline and all the other wonderful chemicals in our body. It feels like love, but it's not. As such, the existence of infatuation must be acknowledged and anything said during this early stage must be taken with a grain of salt.

[wwongcand]

hi nikkilister, i'm sorry to hear your story and i'm sure at one point he did like you but not enough to start a relationship with you but enough for you to believe his words and sleep with him. adding on to other replies you should pay attention to a man's actions. men know women are verbal creatures so they will sweet talk you but men will do what they want. if they want a relationship with you they will pursue, if they want a one night stand they will leave afterwards. pay attention to their actions. here's a good post on how to tell if a man is interested in a relationship with you so you can avoid future confusion and heartbreak in the future - [url=http://www.createahappylovelife.com/howtotellhesinterestedinyou/]How To Tell He’s Interested In You[/url]. good luck!