Love or not

[sophiejoy]

Hi, I have a friend who, over the years I've become very close to. We are more than just friends, meaning that, we are both very very attracted to one another, have admitted our hearts fluttering when we see one another, our faces & eyes light up and we always look forward to seeing one another. I needed distance as due to the fact we're both not in the place to be together (though we've admitted we would be if things were different/we wasn't both in commited relationships/married) & I was struggling with this so completely got him out of my life, i.e, told him I was done with him, that I wanted to close 'the chapter' & deleted him from fb. I recently (after over a yr apart), invited him to a special event & he got back, making it very obvious he was happy to hear from me, has missed me & couldn't wait to see me again. Just before I distanced myelf, I told him via text & when v drunk that I loved him. He replied with many strings of texts between us, in which he said:
"I would like to be with you but I'm not in that place"
"You deserve someone who knows how lucky they are to have you & can show you every day"
"Anyone would be very lucky to get anywhere near you"
"I really do care & feel a lot for you"

My therapists feels he has very strong feelings for me but is not prepared to do anything about them due to how complicated things are.
Any thoughts on what might be going on for him much appreciated

[Wakeup]

Are you trying to get around admitting that he's married or you are and that's what makes it "complicated?"

If that's the case then maybe your therapist would have been more kind to be cruel and told you that it doesn't matter if he loves you or not, he's not leaving the relationship he's in and you should stop contacting him after you told him you were not going to contact him again.

Get off the merry go round you're on with this so called "friend." You'll be in therapy until death do you part with your therapist if you don't stop torturing yourself with questions like "Love or Not."

[Wakeup]

BTW: Your therapist is garbage. Get a new one.

[Nicolelong]

He has no plans of leaving his relationship, and it was very foolish on your part to contact him after a year apart to invite him to an event. If you and/or him were still involved with other people, you should have just let sleeping dogs lie. Now you have reopened that door you had managed to close for a whole year, and the confusion/hurt/healing process starts all over again.

If you are in a relationship- deal with that first. If he is in a relationship- stay out of their business.

You can stroke his ego all you want but it's clear he isn't going anywhere soon.

[basilandthyme]

If he truly wanted to be with you, he'd overcome these complications and be with you. As it is, he'd prefer to be in his current situation.