Hi all!
Well, it seems things have just gone that way. My GF and I have been together for 6 months. Ever since university. Since then, we've done everything together. One of the main strains at the start of the relationship was my abuse of weed. I was effectively a hardcore stoner. This wasn't too much of an issue at the start but as time went on, I realized I was using it to self medicate and it become a huge burden. I would often borrow money from her to fuel this addiction once I started running low (a lot of money). But due to a few unforeseen circumstances, I've managed to accrue this money back and more. So to a degree, the balance has been settled. Anyways, I was always somewhat a depressed/anxiety-ish kind of guy due to my upbringing. Parents were always arguing, using us as pawns in their arguments. One was an alcoholic and one was literally fresh off the boat, from a 3rd world company trying to cope with bringing up kids in a foreign country whilst dealing with a partner with alcohol drug problem (yadda yadda yadda). Now, all is well. He's off that shit and they are both doing very well financially. However, after years of smoking myself into oblivion, hiding from reality (whilst still being able to graduate from university and holding down a job) I decided to move abroad for a job and to leave that shit behind. My GF and I both moved abroad and things went sour quick. My W/D from weed has obviously effected my mental well being and I can be a dick alot of the time. My moods have been up and down but things are slowly getting better (it apparently takes 2 years for the post acute withdrawal symptoms to fully pass). I care for her deeply and am very protective of her, but she has changed (prob' as the result of my behavior over the years) and I've quickly realized (especially now no longer being under the influence of weed / tobacco and even coffee) that we aren't actually that compatible. We are both at that stage where deep down, we both know breaking up is the best thing to do, but because our life has been so intertwined for so many years, that it seems very hard to do. Especially as our families are very fond of us and our relationship. We are kinda' prodding and pushing each other so one of us finally snaps and makes that final move. Ideally, it would be nice for the relationship to continue and for it to be, the way it used to be. But I amidst all the lovey dovey bullshit, the shitty things you do to each other over the years leave scars and the fact that you love each other, just isn't enough to get over it. Those bad memories continued to linger, eventually infecting the relationship at present and then ultimately turning into a big steamy pile of shit. So that's where we are at the moment. I needed to get that off my chest... and to hear opinions of people in similar situations. Is it possible to make it work? Can people get over the past? or is it simply the case of "it is what it is". Shit happened and now this is the result. Look forward to any input!
(Hi Vashti and all other regulars if you come across this post!)