Should I tell the other Partner?

[daniel3101]

I have recently discovered that my wife has had a relationship with another married man (I did not know him). I have confronted both my wife and the guy who she cheated with but his wife is none the wiser. It feels to me like this guy is carrying on like nothing has changed as there was no disruption at his home. I want to tell his wife what went on. Is this a good idea ? Or should I just let it go ?

[Keethekey]

Most people would say to let it go as it's their relationship and it's best to not create problems for them. However, put yourself in her shoes, would you want to know? If yes then you know what to do.
There is no wrong or right thing with these types of situations. Personally I would tell her. Either way someone gets hurt now or eventually.

[starbar]

If it were me I would want to know. however I don't think I would like to hear it from the other woman or someone close to her. That would just put salt in the wound.. I think you should concentrate on your own problems in your marriage and let them deal with their own. Its prob only a matter of time before she figures it out anyway (if she hasn't already)

[Nicolelong]

If I were in your shoes, I'd tell her. If I were in the wife's shoes, I'd want to know. Too many cheaters get away with it because no one wants to be the one to spill the beans.

[basilandthyme]

Just be prepared that the wife may shoot the messenger.

My only other thought is that your decision should consider the future of your own marriage. If the two of you are trying to make things work, then causing trouble in this other guy's marriage may have negative consequences for the relationship between you and your wife. If you want to repair your marriage, then your wife's opinion needs to be considered.

However, if there's nothing left of your marriage and you don't care what your wife thinks - then cause all the trouble you want.

[Wakeup]

If I were in your shoes, I'd tell her. If I were in the wife's shoes, I'd want to know. Too many cheaters get away with it because no one wants to be the one to spill the beans.

No... too many cheaters get away with it because there are other cheaters that enable it.

OP: You are not this woman's friend and you have no right to drop that kind of bomb shell on her only to leave her to the devastation. I suggest you deal with your own marital problems and let them figure out their own. You don't know her well enough to know whether she would want to know.

It's one thing if you were a friend who knew she was being cheated on and told her (and subsequently being there to help her work through it for support), it's quite another to just be the one to drop the bomb.

[SuperHappyTime1]

I have recently discovered that my wife has had a relationship with another married man (I did not know him). I have confronted both my wife and the guy who she cheated with but his wife is none the wiser. It feels to me like this guy is carrying on like nothing has changed as there was no disruption at his home. I want to tell his wife what went on. Is this a good idea ? Or should I just let it go ?

You could do the smart thing and get your own affairs in order (Have your lawyer on speed dial, has completed all the paperwork, and leave your ex-wife with what you think she deserves (like maintaining the marriage, or a straight 50-50 split, or leave her completely homeless. It's entirely between what you think is fair to what you have to settle on to avoid a lengthy divorce process).

Or you could do a really dumb thing and try to have your own affair with his wife. (sarcasm)

Get your own affairs settled first. Ruining another sham marriage isn't going to bring your sham marriage back.