I have a burning desire to be dominated in a BDSM setting. It's been a fantasy for me for years now and the urge is getting stronger.. So much so that I'm debating seeing a "pro-domme". Given my unique ability to overthink things I have a LOT of concern about the consequence. First and foremost the fact that I'll most likely never see this person (the dominatrix) ever again, as it is an expensive undertaking. The thought of doing such intimate acts with someone only to NEVER see or hear from them is off putting for me. I'm pretty clingy and needy and I can only imagine the sorrow and heartache of never seeing her would be.. Second of all I'm afraid it'd just intensify my urges and finding a woman who enjoys being dominate in bed, who I find attractive, and lives reasonably close to me (without having to be pad) is extremely difficult... Yes I've tried Fetlife, yes I've tried Collarspace. Then there's the money. While I have a formidable savings account losing 300$ on a one time occurrence, isn't that inviting.
I don't see this inclination going away anytime soon.. I don't want to see a pro-domme for the reasons stated above but can't seem to find an alternative that allows me to experience this... I'm currently seeing someone but we've already loosely discussed this and she is NOT into the idea of being dominant at all. Has anyone else here ever seen a pro-domme? How was it for you? All other advice is welcomed as well, thanks!