My ex contacted me on Skype recently. We used to meet only for sex but I developed feelings for him and then I ended the relationship after I told him about my feelings. I knew that if I hadn't ended it first, he would have done it before me and it would feel even more painful.
I also was pregnant from him and then miscarried and I told him about it too. So the break up was very emotional.
And a year after that he added me on Skype.
He asked me about my life and we had a few nice chats that weren't sexual but he said that I was the best experience for him and his memories are burning.
He suggested that we ride bikes together in a park. I was shocked because in the past he only cared about sex…He also suggested that we could have a picnic. I thought may be he's interested in something more than sex now, may be he has changed.
I agreed to meet at a park but it was already 8 pm and was getting darker. He said I got stay at his place and that it's not invitation for sex. And so we meet and I went to his flat and then refused to have sex with him. I said "are you in it just for sex and then after I give it to you you disappear like you used to?" "Do you want to hang out with me not just for sex?" And he said that he didn't know.
What an a-hole! I said "but you wanted to go cycling with me and other stuff… "And he said "yes but I meant that we would have sex after it" So I felt really bad and we didn't have sex… I also told him that I still love him but not in a possessive way. His heart started beating very fast, it is like he fears the word "love" so much. We had a very intimate conversation in which he told me that he loves his mother so much that he can't love another woman. cos there can't be two mothers at the same time… and he's afraid of connecting on a deeper emotional level. I think he has some serious emotional issues from his childhood…
We slept all night.. I gave him a nice massage, we kissed. So it wasn't like he got completely nothing from me.
I also forgot to say that I asked him to buy me flowers and he did which he had never done before but I never asked him. Also I remember when we broke up and I was telling him about my feelings he said that he would be buying me flowers if he was interested in a serious relationship…So it is like he showed me from the beginning that he wasn't.
When we were saying bye to each other he said that it would be nice to go cycling together some day and I said that it would be great.
Do you think he said it just to make me feel better?
Do you think I made a mistake by going to his place and I should have let him pursue me, take to cafe, go for a bike ride and basically make him "jump through hoops" before we have sex?
Do you think there's a chance that he will suggest that we hang out not only for sex?
I am so glad we didn't have sex last night.. I would feel so bad if we had done it.