In love with a lady who I dont think loves me

[Tintin5657]

Few months ago I moved to South Africa and tried getting a flat and in the process I met this beautiful young lady and I was attracted to her immediately. I tried to put her out of my mind cause she was actually the owner of the place I was going to rent but it was impossible. I finally did rent from her and tried to make my feelings known to her after few months of leaving in her apartment. We started out nicely by going out together and all but she made it clear to me that she was seeing someone and they have been together for about a year. She says she enjoys spending time with me which seems obvious. We have gone on a vacation together, spent weekends and nights together. She is all into me when we are together and we look like perfect couples together. She still loves her boyfriend and gives him more attention than me cause I hardly do see her...could go for about 2 weeks or more before we see each other. I am almost going insane cause I love her so much and really do want to spend my life with her. I have done all I can to get her to myself but it does not seem to be working. I am ready to give her a ring which I bought already but I think she wants that other guy. I don't know maybe it's cause I live in her house which I pay my rent early always or cause I am a foreigner here or maybe cause she is 2 years older than I am. But I really do love her.

[basilandthyme]

Unrequited love is tough. Unfortunately, you're going to have to accept that "no" is her answer.

[Tintin5657]

Thanks basilandthyme for the response. She just told me that we should see how far we can go. So means she will be seeing me and the other guy at the same time. Its though to accept though but she claims she likes what we have.

[basilandthyme]

Yes it is tough to accept. You do know that you don't have to accept it though? If you want a one man woman, then drop out of this.

[TheEvilJester]

She already had a boyfriend when you met her, so to be honest that right there should have been your sign not to proceed. I find it a little suspect that she is doing date-like things with you such as going on vacations with you while she has a boyfriend.

In any case, the right thing to do is for you to move on and forget her. She is in a relationship in which, from her own words, she is very happy. She wants to be with him. It would not be right of you to try to come between them. Heck, even if she had a boyfriend but was completely miserable in the relationship, it would not be right of you to get in the middle of that while they were still together.

So, really, keeping your distance is your best bet. By still being around her, you are not allowing yourself time to get over her. You'll just continue to wish you could be together. You need to let her go and move on. Who knows? In time, maybe she will become single and maybe you still will be as well. You just can't put your life on hold for something that may never happen. Let her go, give yourself time to heal, and then get back out there and find your true match. Who knows? Perhaps fate will bring you two back together, but if not you will be denying yourself the chance to find your true match by hanging onto somebody you cannot have.

Good luck to you. I think we all understand, at some point or another, how it can feel to want to be with somebody who does not seem to share the same feeling. It sucks and it is a shame, but it just means that our true match is still out there somewhere looking for us. Don't miss her because you are waiting on something that can't be.

[Tintin5657]

Thanks EvilJester for taking your time out to reply to my post.