Is he the right one for me?

[Girl123]

Hello,

I'm here to ask you for your opinion and advice.
I have been living abroad for a year and teaching English at a Kindergarten. I wanted to move back to my home country but then I started getting closer to a colleague. We got on so well and we ended up kissing one evening on a night out. We wanted to spend every minute together; hanging out at work, after work some days and on a Friday and/or Saturday day and night. Eventually he suggested that we were a couple. I was infatuated with him!
Then we went on a trip abroad, which we intended to do until September...that's when things started going wrong. I started getting grumpy with him over little things; not being more decisive, not asking what type of water I wanted at a restaurant and ordering for the both of us, not planning a restaurant for my birthday (he took me to a different city abroad but didn't plan anything to do there), not holding the door open for me, not pouring my drink first at a restaurant. Instead of telling him, I was thinking I don't want to make him change for me as maybe we have too many differences. He is from the countryside and I am a city girl, he hates big corporations and I like them, he likes historical things and I like modern art.
So, I went back to my home country to be on my own and decide whether he is right for me. I decided he wasn't and messaged him. I could tell he cared and was upset but he said he just wants me to be happy.
I called him 3 weeks later and I told him why I left and everything I felt. He told me he still cared for me and would move to my home country to be with me. However, I told him he should stay and work in the kindergarten abroad and we will see how things go. I feel he needs to come and visit me in my home country and see if we work and if he likes where I live.
Please help. I don't know what to do. I care about him but I feel we have many differences. I know he cares about me and is a really nice person...is that enough to be with someone? I told him that I'm looking for a serious relationship and he said he's looking for the same.

Many thanks

[Salty88]

You seem to be very uncertain about this guy. If those little things you were getting grumpy about are really the only things that he physically does to annoy you, that's really not that big of a deal. Things like ordering water and opening doors are things that I'm sure he would gladly work on if you talked to him about it. You shouldn't think of it as "changing him" because those are just actions you would like to see more when you are together. Now... if you told him that you wanted him to change things about himself involving his personality. He can do those things for you because he cares about you... not because he has changed into a different person. If your man being decisive is important to you, maybe you should have a conversation about that. Who knows. Maybe he would rather make decisions with input from others and you both could figure those decisions out together. (sometimes having a girl's input is nice because guys don't always know how to plan things very well on their own.... for example... your birthday abroad with him)
I little bit of compromise goes a long way when you really care about each other. (from both parties of course) What you should really think about is if you really love him? The real him. Barebones. There are some differences between a couple that can be worked on, but there are some differences that go deep to the core. Those things that are part of a person's core... THOSE are the things that you should be thinking about when you wonder if this guy is for you... not really how he orders you water at a restaurant.