I’ve been with my girlfriend for 2 years now (ever since I moved to Hong Kong). We have a great relationship, and she’s basically the perfect girlfriend. Unconditionally loving, caring, sweet, selfless, very beautiful, and in amazing shape.

Long story short, I’ve been in relationships pretty much one after the other since I was 18 (I’m now 28). I’ve had small breaks with those partners, but every relationship has almost overlapped. We are now at a point in our relationship where she wants to start really planning for the future (she is Chinese, and is brainwashed by that ‘leftover woman’ nonsense). Although she is almost the perfect long-term partner, I feel as though I met the right girl at the wrong time.

Like I said our relationship is great, but lately I’ve just been feeling so tired of being tied down. I haven’t had any real alone time my entire adult life. I know it sounds kind of sleazy, but I’m finally making good money and have gotten into good shape, so I’m receiving a lot more attention that I have in previous years. Although I don’t really plan on sleeping around, I feel guilty for enjoying the attention, and it’s kind of frustrating that I can’t even flirt. It’s the first time I feel I have that power and freedom to enjoy my young adulthood and I can’t.

Tying into this, my girlfriend and I have very different views on life, marriage and sex. In particular, she feels that sex is reserved only for the person you love etc. Although I have never cheated on any of my partners, I do not really agree with living a monogamous lifestyle. With all my previous partners, we were involved in the swinging/swapping communities and it’s something that I really enjoy. To be honest, although I am very physically attracted to my girlfriend, we are past that honeymoon stage and for me the sex is no longer fulfilling, and as a result, I sometimes ‘struggle’, and often prefer porn. I really want to bring this up with her, but I know 100% that she will not only not be interested in swinging/group sex, but she will feel deeply hurt and upset. This is the only reason I haven’t brought it up to date, but it’s now at a point where it’s really impacting my enthusiasm in our relationship.

Any advice?