Bf won't post pics/mention me on social media, but allows old pics of ex

[runner1991]

So the title is a good summary, but here is some more info:

My boyfriend and I have been "official" for more than 6 months, but have dated and been exclusive for a while before that. Anyway, he has yet to post a picture of us on Facebook. He allows pics that others post of us, like if we are a part of a group. I once posted a pic of us and then used it as my profile picture on FB. He did not reciprocate. He has told me in the past that he doesn't want employers to see his face (it's a silhouette) but he has also turned off the search engine option so I don't see how hiding his face is necessary. It is important to note he has not posted as often as he has in years before. But isn't he proud of me? I posted pics of us together. It took him a while to let his friends know back home know he was even dating me.

To add insult to injury, old pics of his ex-gf still are floating around. He still has quite a few in his profile pic and is tagged in some pics she has not deleted. It bothers me a lot, and I hate that it does. I feel unreasonable, but I can't help it. It also doesn't help that I genuinely think he's not that into me. He says he loves me, but there are so many times he doesn't reciprocate strong feelings when I let him know how much I love him. Maybe that's something underlying how I feel about his use of social media, but I don't know. That's why I am reaching out. Thoughts?

[Nicolelong]

I think the real issue is that you are feeling insecure about him and the relationship, and so these things seem like harbingers of doom when they may not be at all. If you are already feeling badly, and then see old pictures of him and his ex that he probably has forgotten are even there, you are going to feel even worse. Facebook can be a painful reminder of the past and bring about jealousy.

You say that he says he loves you but you don't feel like he's into you. Well..... just because he doesn't pour his heart out to you or get mushy doesn't mean that he doesn't love you or feel proud of you. If his ACTIONS say that he loves you, then take that as face value.

If this is really bothering you, talk to him. Let him know that you've noticed that he never seems to put pictures up of you and him and see what he says. Just be gentle about it, because I'm thinking he probably doesn't even register that this is going on.

[Jffs24]

Tag him in pictures you'd like him to post on his so it shows on his account too or just go on his page and post any pic of the both of you that you like.

Does he have you listed as his GF on his page or even say he's in a relationship?

[basilandthyme]

My adoring hubby of 23 years never posts pictures of us on FB while I'm rather prolific. It doesn't reflect how he feels about us, it's more about how he uses FB. It's also worth mentioning that he rarely posts pictures of anyone - so it's not like I'm being excluded.

Are you aware of the 7 love languages? Google them. It's about all the different ways people show love for each other. Could he be showing his love to you in a way which you're not recognising?

[TheEvilJester]

I think the others have hit the nail on the head, so I don't have too much to add. Just think of it like this, though.... It was not too long ago that Facebook wasn't even a thing. Years ago, you wouldn't even be having to ask this question.

I understand how you feel, but from what you say it sounds like he doesn't use Facebook all that much anymore. Some people just don't like sharing too much of their personal life on social media. The pictures of his ex, I would venture to guess he forgot were even there.

I think you pretty much said it yourself, that this is only bothering you so much because of the real issues at hand. And, to that effect.... As the others have said, guys are just often not as open with their emotions. Often times, guys are not all that open with being all mushy and lovey dovey. As long as they do say it sometimes, and as long as they SHOW it, you have to kind of just expect that with most guys. Some of us have a gift for the romantic stuff, but most do not.

As others have said, his actions are truly the more telling sign. If he otherwise makes you feel loved and does not do anything by actions to give you doubt, then it is possible you are just worrying yourself over little to nothing. If you truly don't feel like he puts in enough effort otherwise, then that is the real problem and not whether or not he says it. Open communication is the way to go in any healthy relationship, so talk to him. If it bothers you that much, just talk to him. He may have a good reason why he doesn't post pictures of you two. Or, he may even just not really think about it at all. How often does he post pictures otherwise?