I've been dating my boyfriend for 10 months, and I love him with all of my heart. We've never had any serious problems. He tells me this is the best relationship he's ever had.
About 2 months ago, I looked at his Instagram for the first time. I don't have instagram, so I was just curious. I stumbled across pictures of him with exes, but one that particularly struck my nerve. She's a sexpot of a girl, and I read comments about how everyone and he thought she was so damn beautiful, and "it's not luck, it's love"
So I decided to look at her instagram... like one of those idiots in a horror movie that doesn't know when to get out while they still can. It was full of pictures of her in sexy lingerie and poses, her with my boyfriend, sexy pictures FOR my boyfriend, and since he's in a band, she advertised her half naked body in a cut off of one of their s with her hanging out the bottom. Most hurtful was a leather bracelet he made for her, engraved "my Love". All of the comments only made me feel that much worse.
I did my best to get over it without letting on that I was feeling insecure. But last weekend, the band played a show in her area and she said she was going to come. He told me, and I sort of let on that I wasn't comfortable with it but I tried to be okay with it. They apparently went to school together and were friends for a long time. They only got together for a month and it was a "bad idea". He said she wanted to meet me.
I was fighting tears almost the entire way there. I started drinking, and by the time she showed up I was shaking and dragging my cigarette like a chimney. She was dressed in too short silk shorts and a tiny top and was posing for cameras, came up and hugged me and went straight to my boyfriend and started talking. The singer's girlfriend came to me and offered a look, and we took a walk around the corner together. I got back, they were still talking and apparently took a picture together with the singer while we were gone. I got back, and she left after a few short moments to go inside. Soon after, my boyfriend went inside to get food. I finished my cigarette and went back in to get another drink, and she left to go to another concert before the band even played.
I have been having serious problems with this, and although my boyfriend and I have talked about it, he says my feelings are stupid and immature, and he loves me. He said they weren't even a thing... but would he have made her a bracelet if they weren't? If she really wanted to "meet" me, why didn't she say a word to me? I am so confused, and I hate feeling this way. I am wondering if I am crazy for feeling this way... I know he wouldn't hurt me intentionally and I trust he wouldn't cheat... That's not what hurts -- I don't know what hurts, honestly. It's destroying me and I feel like I won't get over it until he understands why I have a problem with it. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Or am I at all justified? How do I go about talking again without being annoying?