We're Married! (M-25) (F-25) Should I worry about the breakups we had when we were 13

[DylanAtion]

Hello, so lately I've been kind of wondering. I've been married for a few years now to the girl of my dreams.

I was just wondering, should I worry about the couple breakups we had when we were 13? Because, lately, It's gotten under my skin because people say that if you break up multiple times, It's bad. However, we were only young teens at the time. What's your thought?

[basilandthyme]

Given that it was so long ago, I can't see it would have any relevance. Had you broken up repeatedly last year though, it would be a different story.

I do have to ask.....if your marriage is really strong, why would this bother you? Are there things going on which make you feel that the marriage isn't going to last the distance?

[DylanAtion]

Given that it was so long ago, I can't see it would have any relevance. Had you broken up repeatedly last year though, it would be a different story.

I do have to ask.....if your marriage is really strong, why would this bother you? Are there things going on which make you feel that the marriage isn't going to last the distance?

Oh, no, yeah, It's great! Our marriage is healthy! I think it just bothers me knowing that we broke up a couple times when we were kids, and it doesn't sound like a perfect love story. Also, a little bit of it is because I see all these people saying, even though it was so long ago to the point of irrelvence, that if you break up more then once, then it's bad. However, we were only kids.

[basilandthyme]

Everyone has an opinion and some people's opinions are not worth the time of day. It's up to us to figure out which opinions to take on board and which opinions to discard. Hey, and just wait till kids arrive - there will be more opinions that you can poke a stick at.

Opinion delivered with irony. Take it or leave it

[DylanAtion]

Everyone has an opinion and some people's opinions are not worth the time of day. It's up to us to figure out which opinions to take on board and which opinions to discard. Hey, and just wait till kids arrive - there will be more opinions that you can poke a stick at.

Opinion delivered with irony. Take it or leave it

Good point! From your personal perspective, do you see any issue with those past break ups? We were 13 at the time, and we broke up twice when we were 13 I believe. That was...Phew. Like, 12 years ago?
How should I disregard them?

[TheEvilJester]

I think it depends more so on WHY you broke up in the past. My gut reaction, though, would be to say they most likely have no bearing on your current relationship at all. You were 13. That is very young. At that age, nobody knows how to actually take a relationship seriously. Heck, that is basically what you do in young relationships. You break up a lot.

Maybe if you were 20 when you broke up multiple times I'd say it could possibly have some bearing on whether you'd stay together now. Bottom line, though, if the relationship is working now and you see no reason why it shouldn't continue to work, then why worry about the past? The past is just that.... the past.

I mean, if you broke up as 13 year olds for legit reasons, and those legit reasons have not changed then I would kind of wonder why it would work now when it did not then. It's just, chances are when you were that young I'm going to guess you more just broke up because you broke up. It isn't like you'd probably be having serious talks at 13 like "I want a ton of kids." "Oh, shucks! I don't want any kids." "Golly, then I guess we should break up." LOL! So, I think chances are your relationship as wee little kidlets probably means nothing based on your relationship now as full grown adult-type humans.

[basilandthyme]

Good point! From your personal perspective, do you see any issue with those past break ups? We were 13 at the time, and we broke up twice when we were 13 I believe. That was...Phew. Like, 12 years ago?
How should I disregard them?

haha, I see zero issues with a couple of kids who don't yet have enough experience and personal insight to manage a relationship.

As for how to disregard advice, it's as simple as looking at it and considering whether or not you agree. If you don't agree, you just throw the advice in the figurative trash basket with all the other dumb advice you've been given over the years.

[Fuzzyfeeling]

Ups and downs pal ,no relationship lacks those ,worth having atleast.

[Wakeup]

I'm not sure why you're worrying about what people say if your relationship is currently making you both happy, you're getting along, you have fun together, there is no wide gap in libidos and you haven't broken up since you were 13.

If you have been breaking up with each other your whole entire relationship then I doubt your marriage will last... but that's not the case, is it?

[TheEvilJester]

I think there is also something to be said for the fact that you two are now married. This time around it worked out well enough that you actually got married. Unless you got married despite the fact that you were still constantly breaking up, or were fighting all the time, or anything like that I don't see why your relationship as 13 year olds should matter. I mean, really, who at 13 knows how to really sincerely take a relationship seriously. Oh, we all THINK we do that young, but we really don't. (Well, most of us think we do. At that age I wasn't yet even interested in love.)