Why is this guy so presumptuous?

[AshBern]

There is this guy I know - who I considered a friend. I am very shy. but I feel very comfortable talking to him. he makes me feel calm. However lately he has said a couple things that sound very presumptuous like he assumed i was, for example, going out of my way for him, or thinking of him. I find this incredibly presumptuous.
but I don't get it- Why? I don't act a particular way around him. yet some of our other friends ACT like they like him and i can tell. and he has another female friend who calls and texts him all the time, but he doesn't bat an eyelash about her. A couple other girls use a cute nickname on him and make it sooo obvious, they can't hide it. So why me? (although I don't know how he treats them) I treat him with respect like a friend. And I am very shy.
Is it at all GOOD? like would he act this way if he was repulsed by me? Should I just avoid him now?

[Wakeup]

You should avoid him if you feel you want to. If you like the attention then keep on keeping on and maybe he'll actually ask you out on a date sometime.

Maybe you ought to tell him "I think its You that has been thinking about me."

[AshBern]

You should avoid him if you feel you want to. If you like the attention then keep on keeping on and maybe he'll actually ask you out on a date sometime.

Maybe you ought to tell him "I think its You that has been thinking about me."

But I don't understand why he is making these assumptions? I thought it's a bad thing? (i would not mind going out with him, but i'm hardly in love with him)

[Wakeup]

How old are you?

You don't have to be "in love" with someone to go out with them. Do you find him attractive? Would you LIKE to go out with him on a date?

[AshBern]

How old are you?

You don't have to be "in love" with someone to go out with them. Do you find him attractive? Would you LIKE to go out with him on a date?

hahaha, NOOO! That is not what I meant. Firstly, yes, I would live to go on a date with him. But my comment about not being in love was about his presumptuous. I am still trying to figure out why this guy is all arrogant and presumptuous when it comes to me. That can't be a good thing. I thought it meant he arrogantly assumes I am in love with him.

[Wakeup]

He's joking with you. I think its his way of doing a bit of flirting perhaps?

I also think you're being too uptight about what he's saying to you. If you like him, and if you would love to go out on a date with him then he's not really being presumptuous... he's more likely being observant.

[AshBern]

He's joking with you. I think its his way of doing a bit of flirting perhaps?

I also think you're being too uptight about what he's saying to you. If you like him, and if you would love to go out on a date with him then he's not really being presumptuous... he's more likely being observant.

No i said I would LIKE to go on a date with him. it was a typo i said "live" instead I'm not dying to. i just meant i'd go out with him to get to know him better. do i have a mega girl crush? no. but we do get along and i enjoy his company so yeah of course i'd go out with him. that's all i meant.

Maybe I am being uptight, it's just that in the past I have been mistreated. The last time a guy acted presumptuous like this, we were going to hang out (not even romantically) and he just ditched me in the middle of the winter and i was freezing waiting outside. so my experience is, that a guy who seems presumptuous thinks he has 'got' me and can treat me like garbage.

and in this case it's not like a flirty thing, it's just his attitude, and the fact that he makes assumptions.

[Wakeup]

I will bow out now. I have no further advice then to tell you to tell him to stop being so presumptuous. If he hasn't asked you out on a date yet then I'll assume it is because he can't read whether or not you like him in more then a "friend" kind of way so he's being coy with you trying to get you intrigued... If that's the case, it's working. You've started a thread about him so he's definitely in your head.

Good luck... I hope others can give you more insight.

[AshBern]

I will bow out now. I have no further advice then to tell you to tell him to stop being so presumptuous. If he hasn't asked you out on a date yet then I'll assume it is because he can't read whether or not you like him in more then a "friend" kind of way so he's being coy with you trying to get you intrigued... If that's the case, it's working. You've started a thread about him so he's definitely in your head.

Good luck... I hope others can give you more insight.

I'm sorry if I was being argumentative . i didnt mean to be. I was just clarifying. I am in a bad mood today, because i feel very rejected and alone. I feel like I am disconnected. so perhaps that is why i assumed the worse. You hadn't really answered the question before, so that's why i was explaining. but also --- you are assuming he is interested???

[basilandthyme]

However lately he has said a couple things that sound very presumptuous like he assumed i was, for example, going out of my way for him, or thinking of him. I find this incredibly presumptuous.

I find it really hard to comment without more information. The way this is written, it just sounds like he was thanking you for doing something thoughtful.....but this is hardly being presumptuous, so I must be understanding it incorrectly.

What exactly is he saying which is so offensive and what is the context?

[solarion]

There is this guy I know - who I considered a friend. I am very shy. but I feel very comfortable talking to him. he makes me feel calm. However lately he has said a couple things that sound very presumptuous like he assumed i was, for example, going out of my way for him, or thinking of him. I find this incredibly presumptuous.
but I don't get it- Why? I don't act a particular way around him. yet some of our other friends ACT like they like him and i can tell. and he has another female friend who calls and texts him all the time, but he doesn't bat an eyelash about her. A couple other girls use a cute nickname on him and make it sooo obvious, they can't hide it. So why me? (although I don't know how he treats them) I treat him with respect like a friend. And I am very shy.
Is it at all GOOD? like would he act this way if he was repulsed by me? Should I just avoid him now?

Try to look objectively at the way you talk about this guy...and at 3:20am? You've gone so far as to analyze the way other females are responding to him. You're obviously curious and no you should not avoid your feelings. What would be gained?

If I had to guess based on the limited information available, I'd say he's running the cocky guy playbook on you and it's clearly working.

[AshBern]

Try to look objectively at the way you talk about this guy...and at 3:20am? You've gone so far as to analyze the way other females are responding to him. You're obviously curious and no you should not avoid your feelings. What would be gained?

If I had to guess based on the limited information available, I'd say he's running the cocky guy playbook on you and it's clearly working.

Thank you - I don't think I ever denied being attracted to him though. I feel like it's coming off accusatory in a way like, you like him, admit it. Yes, i admit it. but also - I never posted at 3:20 in the morning. I was fast asleep. i think the time is wrong, iknow it is wrong for whenever i post something. for instance. right now, it is 5:50 pm where i live, and i bet it will show up as some other time!

EDIT it says i posted this message at 1:19AM

[Wakeup]

Yes... the time stamp has been off for over a year now. Admin doesn't care to correct it.

Oh and yes I think he's attracted to you but he's playing coy or playing games. If you want to get to the bottom of what his deal is then next time you think he's being presumptuous, just ask him why he's being so.

Either that or just avoid him if you are getting tired of what appears to be his little game.

All speculation of course because we've not seen or heard how he interacts with you.

[CaseySp]

He's flirting with you. And it's working. You ARE thinking of him, aren't you?