I can fully understand where you are coming from, tampitump. I am actually beginning to wonder if I need to bow out of this thread. Not because of anything you've done or said, but because it is hitting a little too close to home.
I cannot even fathom the sheer audacity of somebody to be so rude the way you describe this person at your friend's wedding. Just hearing you talk about that makes the monster inside me sharpen his teeth. Makes me kind of wish it were me instead of you and that I'd, for some strange reason, thought to bring my machete to a wedding.
I understand your reluctance to seek out help from a therapist. It's just, if you cannot get past this on your own, I don't see how else you could. You shouldn't have to live like this. Why would you just let yourself get lost in this? Believe me, I understand how you feel in doubting how a therapist could possibly ever help you. The thing is, that is what they are trained to do. And, granted, therapists are just people too. The first one you go to may not be a match for you at all. You may need to try a few to find one who gels well with you.
Maybe they COULD help you. How would you know if you don't try? I don't know if your have medical insurance, but if so you may want to look into whether therapy is covered even somewhat. You may not have to pay for it completely out of pocket.
As for your story of hanging out with your friends and women being all over them....
Honestly, that just comes natural to some guys. Believe me, I wish I knew how to have that same kind of luck. At the same time, though, I wouldn't abuse it. I wouldn't want tons of women always all over me, snap my finger and ten women are falling over each other to try to get to me first. I'd just like one special gal. But, some guys just have a natural gift. I know just how you feel. Sometimes I feel the same way, like this crap just comes so naturally to everybody else in the world, yet I try to socialize and I might as well just not even exist. I know the feeling. Maybe you are just going to the wrong social events. Go to something with people more your style and you will eventually find people who will be more open around you and include you. As
As a for example, I am NOT a party guy at all. Sometimes I try to go to parties because friends are having them and it is just what you do. I almost always hate it, because I wind up feeling completely out of place, and wind up being mostly ignored by everybody else there. It isn't like I don't put in effort, but somehow it just isn't my scene and I never feel completely at ease. Yet.... in my gaming group we have all become good friends, and we even have new people stop in now and then and I am able to be just as open and friendly with them as the rest of the group. So, maybe just find your scene rather than being dragged to your friends' scenes where, of course they are going to seem light-years ahead of you.
Bottom line, fight for yourself. Fight for your happiness. You don't deserve to be so down, so if life seems to kick you when you are down, maybe it is time to kick back.