Ignoring the Issue?

[treehugger101]

My Boyfriend and I have been getting into a few fights lately and he went on to say one night during one of those fights that "Okay tonight's fight never happened or existed". Isn't saying that or forgetting about it, not the right way to do things? What would you do?

[basilandthyme]

It depends on how the fight started or what it was about. If it was a fight over an inconsequential thing, then it makes sense to not bother further about something which is inconsequential. However it does make sense to figure out why you were fighting over a stupid thing.

What were you arguing over? Do you feel the issue is still unresolved? And why are you fighting so much lately?

[treehugger101]

Oh I see. It's been different things.

[dollhouse]

Maybe he was trying to get past it by saying I'll let this one pass? Have you spoken on it since?

[TheEvilJester]

It definitely depends on a number of factors. If the argument was about something that keeps coming up, then that could just be ignoring the issue thinking it will go away when it obviously hasn't before. You say it's been different things, though, and not always the same, so maybe that is not the case.

Was it something minor and perhaps easily forgettable? If so, his approach could be correct. Maybe if it was just something stupid and silly and possibly just escalated due to other stress, it could be best just to sweep it away and forget it.

On the other hand, if it was due to important issues that need to be fixed, then sweeping it under the carpet isn't going to help. It's still there, and eventually you keep walking on that carpet and it slides right back out. So, it really depends on the specifics of the argument.

[basilandthyme]

Oh I see. It's been different things.

Are you going to elaborate on the problems?