Update to an old problem, thoughts?

[st66]

Hi all, an update on an old problem.

A few years back I came on here with a problem I had with a friend I had, we basically were friends but spent way to much time together and developed strong feelings for each other, she had a boyfriend who I knew and was away a lot. This went on for some time, nothing happened physically but it certainly did emotionally. I took the advice here and cut ties from her completely. We had the odd contact every so often as we live in the same town but hardly anything, I got over it quite well, still thought about her a little bit but got on and had a good couple of years with quite a few holidays etc so was all good.

About 6 weeks ago with had a brief conversation on social media, which went onto texts. As much me contacting her as her contacting me. Turns out she had split up with hey boyfriend about 3-4 weeks previous for most of the reasons I always thought they would. We had a catch up which was a lot easier than I thought and we caught up and had a few conversations about her and how she was with the split etc. Since then we have met up a few times and it all seemed to slip back into how we were a few years ago, just without the obvious complications. There has been zero mention from either of us on our situation a few years go which I think is a good thing.

I have been very wary of this all and it's by no means her now just coming back in contact because she had split up. I'm just now getting thoughts and feeling of what I used to have and very unversed by it all. I like spending time with her and we still get on so well even after all this time but it's starting to concern me and I don't want to go back down the road I went down before.

I think I know what people will tell me to-do but I just wanted to write it all down and I find it helps me process and think about things.

[solarion]

I wasn't around for your previous posts about these events, so pardon me if I miss details. If I'm following the sequence of events correctly it's been roughly 9-10 weeks since your friend split with her BF of at least a few years? If so, I'd recommend you proceed very cautiously, that's not all that much time and you don't want to end up being "rebound guy". You obviously have feelings for this woman, but try to take it slowly and be her friend for now. Trust that something will develop out of it if that is what is meant to be.

[st66]

Thanks for the reply
In a nutshell she had been with her boyfriend for 6 years, I knew her from before they got together (not that long) we were always friends but for years 3 and 4 of their relationship we became very close, spent a LOT of time together and both admitted having feelings for each other but nothing happened as she was in a relationship, we then cut ties and the last two years it's been very limited contact. They split 6-8 weeks ago, we got back in contact about a month ago (mutually and then found out they had split up. I have feelings for her and think I always have so am treading very carefully as I don't want to go down the road I went a few years ago where i got quite depressed over it all. BUT I did get a bit of help and have had a very good couple of years, not like I have been sitting waiting to see what happened). This last month has just relit something which I was afraid of and need to ignore and or move on fro pretty quick. We just get on so well and have slipped back into old behaviours when we have seen each other over the last month. There's not contact every day at all and she is getting over her relationship with friends etc. We haven't been in each others lives for the last few years so need to keep that in mind. It's all just a little confusing for me that's all.

[smackie9]

Well lets hope it wasn't her being infatuated because she was enjoying the thrill of having an emotional affair behind her BF's back.