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Thread: Urgent problem

  1. #1
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    Urgent problem

    I have along distance relationship/friendship that is not going very well because we both are very tired at this time and at least for me is a big stress to keep talking to her, because I like her very much and I dont want to do something wrong, but at the same time I dont want to be a weak guy that allways say yes to anything... If things go nasty she proceed to ignore me for a week or so and then call me again. This formula worked until now but we start to run out of things to talk, we didnt have a fun conversation in a while and even if neither of us want the all thing is starting to turn cold and I see that we are going to end in a bad way that will not leave space for another serious thing in the future when I will move in her city (not because of her, I'm moving anyway in 2 years). She dont like to talk much and she calls me just when she wants, and I managed to stick to her way of keeping in touch but, I started to lose interest in this and I cant keep up beeing fun and awsome like before. Pleae suggest me a way to stop this in a good manner that leaves the possibility of a relationship in the future without hurting her feelings... I cant keep up with this and I'm feeling that if I dont do something soon it will be worse.

  2. #2
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    You are not obligated to talk to anyone who you are not freely comfortable in talking to. If you want to distance yourself, then distance yourself and when/if you ever move to where she is, then you can contact her then. If she's not receptive to your contact in two years, then the timing was off and you will certainly find someone else that will be better suited to you.

    Have you ever met this girl in person?
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wakeup View Post
    You are not obligated to talk to anyone who you are not freely comfortable in talking to. If you want to distance yourself, then distance yourself and when/if you ever move to where she is, then you can contact her then. If she's not receptive to your contact in two years, then the timing was off and you will certainly find someone else that will be better suited to you.

    Have you ever met this girl in person?
    Yes, we met in a camp and we are going great togheter... I think if we were in the same town we could have a wonderfull relationship because I met her the second time a month after the camp we have been and it was just chemestry... It feels like we fit eachother perfectly. The problem is that she is the type to suddenly ignore me for a week or 2 and then show up and talk like nothing happened, and even if I'm ashame to admit it, sometimes I'm just tired or angry for some reason and feel a huge urge to explode on her because she was ignoring me on purpose for such a long time... She dont like the wordy displays of love and in a long distance thing this leaves me pretty confused and angry on myself, because I allways feel like I am not doing enough, and because of myself she is not talking that mutch. This happens just when I'm very tired and angry... And I feel like I start to question her to mutch and to do her other things that she dont deserve... I need a formula to stop me to miss her that mutch until I say a stupid thing that will maker go away forever. I just need to stop and I dont know how. I'm an aries boy and she is an aquarius girl if this detail helps any astrology-oriented lady on this forum.

  4. #4
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    I'm an Aquarius girl and I can safely tell you that if I'm not responding to you when you make contact then it means I'm really not going to care if you stop talking to me.

    Just go cold turkey withdrawl from her... zero contact and let her do all the reaching out. In time, she will just stop bothering you. Stay off of any applications where she can see that you are online for a while as well. Get out and meet girls where you live and it will take your mind off of her.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wakeup View Post
    I'm an Aquarius girl and I can safely tell you that if I'm not responding to you when you make contact then it means I'm really not going to care if you stop talking to me.

    Just go cold turkey withdrawl from her... zero contact and let her do all the reaching out. In time, she will just stop bothering you. Stay off of any applications where she can see that you are online for a while as well. Get out and meet girls where you live and it will take your mind off of her.
    But she is so sad and alone most of the time... I dont want to hurt her... If I start to talk to other girls I can assure you that I will lose all interest for her in a matter of weeks, not because I want that, but because I get easy distracted. She will not contact me for a while (even some weeks or months) but then when she will show up she wont find the same guy... I cant fake intrest... And the thing that she is far away wont help her. I search for a way to keep myself on a middle ground between the place where I like her to mutch and the place I am not caring at all (aries problem). If you can understand and give me a good advice I will be eternaly thankfull

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Wakeup View Post
    I'm an Aquarius girl and I can safely tell you that if I'm not responding to you when you make contact then it means I'm really not going to care if you stop talking to me.

    Just go cold turkey withdrawl from her... zero contact and let her do all the reaching out. In time, she will just stop bothering you. Stay off of any applications where she can see that you are online for a while as well. Get out and meet girls where you live and it will take your mind off of her.
    And she is not bothering me... Except her occasionaly aloofness she is a very funny person and she allways manage to make me smile... I cant say that I love her, but I am not far away.
    Last edited by 4fresh; 23-09-15 at 02:55 PM.

  6. #6
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    You would be doing both of you a favor if you just left her alone and you got distracted by other girls. Ignore her and get on with your life in the REAL world. See chicks you can actually touch and kiss, and smell their perfume, and laugh with when they are sitting beside you where you can touch their hand.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  7. #7
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    Guess your right... If I will not got a serious thing I can get in touch with her later. Is just stressing for me to keep up with this, but I will send her a letter monthly... Is not mutch but I thing she deserves at least that. She trusted me with this thing -.-

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    Without any physical interaction like holding hands, cuddling, kissing etc the relationship won't have a leg to stand on. Talking only last for so long, the novelty wears off and it gets old.....it gets frustrating too! Just look at it this way, you had a good run, now it's time to move on.

    Don't let this keep you from meeting someone you can actually be with....IMO LDR's makes you miss out on other "real" opportunities, and experiences. So push yourself away from the computer and get yourself out there.

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