trouble in London

[bbbb]

Apologies for the title, I really wasn't sure how to call this thread.
I'll try to keep it short and if you'd like any more details to offer some advice I'll gladly give and take.

So here goes: I am a non-English girl of 25 with an English boyfriend of 38. We met in London, where we currently live, about 1,5 years ago. I came here for a student exchange initially but dropped out before even meeting him as I was feeling my life was going into a pointless direction. I decided to stay in England for a while to try and work out what I want to do with my life and possibly live through the adventure of living abroad before getting too old and feeling the need (not pressure) to settle down (which I would love to now). I worked in a pub for a bit, a restaurant, a shop, fast food outlets, I was a dog walker, a cleaner, I gave English lessons, I did leaflets. I took up studies again last September (computer science - I got into programming and thought I could make that my career), I managed to study full time while working part-time + my boyfriend was helping me out with money (we live together). This was exhausting and when I found a really good job this August, I decided against going back to uni this year (it's expensive, I don't want to rack up debt, plus I don't want to all this exhausting work/study life). But my work is project-based and will only last until mid-November (game testing until the game is released). I am generally tired and disillusioned with life in London (it is ridiculously expensive, I can't seem to make any meaningful connection with people other than bf, I got roughly treated by a few people I considered friends and got disheartened, transport takes up so much time and money I find myself giving up on going out etc.) and was thinking about going back to my country after the project is over - either forever or until I can learn programming well enough to try to get a job in the UK - this is feasible as I could stay at my parents', who are comfortably well off and would welcome me with open arms.
The problem is, my bf has a daughter with his ex-wife. She is 9 and is everything to him (plus me, of course). He rarely sees her as it is because his ex keeps coming up with excuses + the girl has a lot of dancing activities on weekends so it is difficult for him to see her, if we both moved to my country he would very likely get depressed because 1) he couldn't see her, 2) he doesn't speak the language (and doesn't have talent for languages), 3) because of that he might have trouble finding work and connecting to people. I am torn between wanting him to be happy and me getting to grips with my life (what I could achieve back home in maybe 1-2 years I would have to sacrifice another 3-5 years here because I would have to work to support myself while trying to further my education). This is important to me as I would like to have kids before I reach 30 ideally, or as soon as possible, and my boyfriend isn't getting any younger either. He says if I want to go back he will go with me but I don't want to put myself and my needs between him and his daughter. On the other hands, it feels frustrating to think of more time and money spent in the city which I have come to hate just because I want to make him happy. He is also afraid of leaving his daughter as his ex had a daughter from a previous relationship which he treated as his own, but who stopped talking to him after he divorced her mother, and he now fears that if he has little contact with his natural daughter she will come to hate him when he grows up.
I have tried for months to weigh that all up but can't come to any sensible decision. Any advice?

[solarion]

Sounds rather complicated. You mentioned moving home to your parents and your BF going with, but those sentiments sound somewhat incompatible. Plus you speak his native language and he doesn't speak yours. To say nothing of the complicated daughter situation. Think you should work on practical solutions to stick things out there if you feel he's the "one" for you.