8 years and it still wears on me, How do I fix this?

[mcp85]

Back in my early twenties I developed a friendship with a women, we would literally talk every night on the phone about anything and everything and I eventually developed deep feelings for her. They weren't returned except when she was depressed or when we were alone and she would comment about the possibility.

I didn't deal with it correctly and from perspective I see that I was Whiny , naive and just plain awkward , not to mention she knew all of my deepest negative feelings.


She represents a contradiction in my mind, she is ease and truly being comfortable as well as what should be the opposite of not feeling good enough.


The problem is since then I have not been able to have a functional relationship, I come off as cold and not very emotional at all. Some can't deal with it and I have issues with dealing with other's emotions. I think I learned not to air my emotions , and while this works in the beginning , it's a horrible way to have a relationship.

I'm almost 30 and I feel my life is going by too fast to ever have a love and family. How do I fix this?

[Wakeup]

Have you considered therapy?

[mcp85]

And get pills and told I'm depressed when I'm not. Great idea......

[Wakeup]

I'm glad you agree.

[mcp85]

I know I can get medicated and not have emotions about my lack of showing emotion, I still will have dysfunctional relationships, but I won't care as much.

[Wakeup]

A psychologist doesn't prescribe medication
A psychiatrist does that. Do you have a psychiatric type of issue that you've not disclosed?

[mcp85]

No I don't and I have gone to therapy, I don't have issues in any other part of my life. So it's not really helpful as I function just fine and have my direct family relationships. I just don't do well in creating a romantic relationship. I do not develop emotional attachment although I want it. I haven't in eight years

[basilandthyme]

So what did this therapist say about you being cold in relationships?

[Wakeup]

:0) *Passes the baton to Basil*

[solarion]

No I don't and I have gone to therapy, I don't have issues in any other part of my life. So it's not really helpful as I function just fine and have my direct family relationships. I just don't do well in creating a romantic relationship. I do not develop emotional attachment although I want it. I haven't in eight years

How many aspects of your life have to be dysfunctional before therapy is warranted in your opinion? If you're not developing emotional connections to those you don't have to interact with(family) then there's likely a trust or self-esteem issue involved.

[idorea]

i suggest that you work on yourself and perhaps see a counsellor