I've stayed friends with an ex of mine from 4 years ago. He truly is a great person - he literally saved me from Hurricane Sandy and I lived with him for 2 months while my home was being rebuilt. He shut down on me when I moved back home after the storm, so we wound up breaking up and I've NEVER felt the same for him ever since he stopped helping me rebuild my life.
We text from time to time, casually as friends (we made up a year after Hurricane Sandy when he apologized for shutting down on me) but he always winds up asking me to get together with him.
I've already told him I forgive him for what he did 3 years ago and no hard feelings, but I KNOW he's in love with me and he'll ultimately turn the conversation to us getting together. I no longer am in love with him and it's been WAY too long for us to reconnect on ANY level - also, he's in his mid 50s and at this point in my life I now want a man closer to my age who I can start a family with, which he can't offer.
How can I tell him to stop making plans with me. I really don't hate him and don't mind a chat now and then, but I don't like when he takes the conversation to a level where he invites me to dinner etc. Should I just tell him flat out, please stop inviting me out? Since he's always been there for me, and said if I ever need him I can count on him again, I don't want to be mean --- but I don't want to go out for dinner with him and he gets the wrong idea that we're going to get back together.
Any diplomatic way to keep turning him down without being mean?