Bisexual boyfriend blues

[Bpizzle]

There's a lot of backstory, I can provide it upon request. Basically, I accidentally outed my bf as being bi about a year ago. He suffers anxiety and depression, much of it is associated with his feelings of guilt and shame about his sexuality. It took me a little bit of time, but I came around to it without ever condemning him for who he is. I was honestly more pissed that he was lying and being sneaky than his desire to be sexual with other men. The problem is this: I have been very open to his needs and desires. We have gone as far as to have a threesome with another man where they were oral with one another. I didn't love it, but didn't hate it either. I'm no prude and truthfully didn't mind doing it for him. However, when it comes to sex between the two of us, he's not very interested. When we do have sex, he frequently talks about how he wants a dick in his mouth, or to have another guy in his ass while he's f***ing me. Like I said, I'm not prude, but it really hurts my feelings that I am no longer an object of interest to him. On several occasions, I have told him that if he isn't horny for ME, keep it to himself. Each time, it has been a week or two before he even touched me again He remains very verbal in telling me that he loves me, and wants to be affectionate, but doesn't understand why I am so upset. Please tell me your thoughts.

[TheEvilJester]

This will obviously have to be up to you to decide, but it sounds to me like perhaps you two are just not the right match. There really is nothing wrong with what he wants, but nor is there anything wrong with you not wanting the same thing. What would be wrong, though, would be for either of you to force the other to live a lifestyle they do not want.

Believe me, even if one of you were to think you can make it work, if you are compromising your own sense of what is right and wrong and what you are okay with, that will never work out. You may think you can make it work, but it will eventually just cause nothing but hurt feelings on both sides.

Heck, I'd honestly say good for you for giving it a try. You tried to accept his lifestyle, but it just didn't really work for you. You're not closed-minded or stubborn. You actually gave it a shot, but it just wasn't for you. You would probably be better off moving on and finding a guy who will want to be with you and only you.

Again, that is just coming from my personal thoughts, though. Maybe you disagree and want to try to make it work. If you do, I wish you the best. Either way, though, please at least care about yourself enough not to compromise on anything that is important enough to you that you really should not be compromising.

[Wakeup]

My thoughts are that you're with the wrong man. You're totally incompatible and he's more gay then he is straight.

[TheEvilJester]

I was kind of thinking that too. It does kind of sound like he is much more into the idea of a sexual activity with a guy than he is with his supposed girlfriend. The way she described his words/actions, it almost sounded to me personally like she was practically an after thought. Certainly NOT the way a loving partner should treat their significant other. Didn't know if it was just me, though.