Virginity/birth control

[Msmith0741]

So I have been dating a guy for over a year now and we've been talking about sex for some time. I'm 19, and we are both virgins, and plan to use a condom -at the very least-. However, as we discussed it more, an issue surfaced. Obviously, neither of us want kids or aids (they're basically the same thing.. Ok terrible joke), we want to be safe, and so we both agreed that more than one contraceptive would be for the best. Problem is, it takes doctors, prescriptions, parents, or a combination of them all for most or all the things we've looked into so far. And heres the issue- I refuse to tell my parents. It would change the relationship I have with them, and that is not something I want. He wants me to tell them so that I can get someone to take me to doctors or find a way to get another form of birth control if we decide to have sex and to do so on a regular basis. It's just one of those things (maybe it's just me, or maybe others feel the same- I'm not sure) that I would never tell my parents about, like hey I do not inquire about their sex life-- and vise versa. Like I could be 30 and happily married with kids, and if sex were brought up, it would have to just be assumed that the mini me's running around just spawned in my belly 9 months ago and we took them in as our own- that's how strongly I feel about this. I hear that I may be able to get some kind of help from planned parenthood? Is this true, and how would I go about doing so? Also- I'm worried that since this topic has been brought up with my boyfriend, and my issue about telling my parents has surfaced, I'm concerned that even if I were to find a way around telling my parents to receive more than one way of protection he would be upset that I flat oh refused to tell them. As if he'd take it personally, assuming I don't care enough or something. How would I prevent him from feeling that way or getting that vibe? I love my boyfriend very much, I mean if I trust him enough to even bring up sex, however It is my personal belief that telling my parents is far fetched and a bit out of my reach -it's just far too personal of a topic-. I don't know how to put my strong feelings for this in better words, so, sorry if my description is rather lacking and leangthy at the same time. Another issue is my PMDD (basically like PMS, but it's more severe and of an emotional set back than anything else, as it causes me to become suicidal during the week before a period) and the problem with birth control is that it often has side effects that can amplify problems like these. Can you recommend a certain form of birth control or contraceptive other than simply condoms?

This all goes on a tangent, but if anyone has any advise or knowledge about this stuff please reply! It would be much appreciated

[dontaskme]

You are 19 years old, you can go the the docs without your parents and get prescription for birth control on your own. Privacy policy prevents the docs disclosing info to your parents without your consent. Grow a pair and learn to do things independently in the absence of your parents.

- - - Updated - - -

And the doc should know which birth control to prescribe. Don't be asking internet strangers to recommend meds for you.

[Wakeup]

^^^ What she said.

You are an adult. Just make an appointment with your family physician and discuss this with him/her.

[friendsfirst]

If you aren't comfortable with your family doctor, you can go to the health department and be seen for very little, if any $ and they give you whatever they prescribe immediately, no pharmacy trip required. Just make sure you notify your doctor when seen that you have done this and what they prescribed you.

[melancholia]

The OP's post is exactly why sex education needs to be redefined in North America.... OP... if you are actually 19 years old and not younger than you claim to be, I find it hard to believe that you are unaware that you do not need parental consent for birth control. The age of sexual consent in the US is 18. Dr's are also obligated to patient-doctor confidentiality and even if you were under 18, they are legally bound to keep your medical information private. You need to make an appointment with your family doctor, or at a woman's clinic or gynecologist. They will go over every form of birth control with you so that you can make an informed decision on what will work best for you. They will also know to take your PMDD into consideration before recommending birth control to you. I am pleased to see that you and your boyfriend are taking your sexual safety seriously, and using more than one form of contraception is your best choice.

I wonder why you are so uncomfortable discussing sex. Is it only with your parents that you have such a difficult time with the subject, or do you feel uncomfortable talking about sex in general? If you aren't comfortable talking about sex, then I think you may want to reconsider having sex, because if you can't talk about it, you sure as hell won't be able to handle the actual main event.

[smackie9]

Go to a family planning clinic, they will give you what you need. Please get educated on the pill and other options.

BTW if you decide to use a condom, also use contraceptive cream or foam for extra protection. condoms break. Make sure plan B pill is available to you, just for back up.