HOW can I get over this in the future?

[xfcaro]

I have no experience with forums like these, but am hoping for some advice from a third party to advise me in this situation. I will start off by saying I am a 20 year old female and I have never had a serious or long term boyfriend and/or relationship. 4 months ago, I met a man on a dating website that is completely "out of my league" so to speak, in every way possible. This is not just me being dramatic or insecure, he is extremely intelligent, gorgeous, very successful, a natural, confident leader, spiritual, interesting and an all around magnetic person. We live in different cities and have only been physically together for 2 weeks out of the 4 months we talked. We talked daily since the beginning of July all the way up until this past weekend when I went to visit him in California (I met him in person on a separate trip to CA once before in August). I should probably also note that there is a considerable age difference between us (he is 40), but he is single and never married, and hugely picky in who he dates. I will not get into the details of our relationship, but the bottom line is that a couple days ago, he broke it off with me and I am having a very difficult time coming to terms with the fact that I know in my heart of hearts, that I will never have the opportunity to be with a man like that again. He was patient with my introverted demeanor and shyness, but he made me feel confident, attractive and interesting, things I do not tend to feel on a daily basis (or hardly ever). He is an interesting and dynamic man, but kindhearted and sensitive at the same time. His masculine energy fit perfectly with my feminine energy. Anyways, this past weekend he told me I am too young for him to ever be serious with, and that I need to work on my confidence and being a "present person," before I can be in a serious relationship, but that he thinks highly of me and will always "cherish our time together."

What kills me is that I know I will never be this drawn to someone again in my entire life. I am aware of how ignorant and dramatic this sounds, since we were not in an exclusive relationship much less true love, but men like him DO NOT exist in the real world. They just do not, period. Every time I think about how amazing and desired he made me feel, I break down in tears. I honestly do not know how I can go through life knowing someone like him exists yet having to settle for a man I will inevitably be less attracted and drawn to. He can have his choice of women (to put things in perspective- he has dated some famous women) and even when things were good between us, I knew deep down he would never actually settle down with me. For the women reading this, I want you to picture your ideal man in your mind. Nobody specific in your life, just a man with every single trait you could ever possibly want. Then imagine he exists, was interested in you for a short period of time, then having that ripped away from you on a whim without a specific explanation. That is pretty much the situation I am currently dealing with. I am highly intuitive and almost always correct in my predictions of situations, and I absolutely know that men like him do not exist. Ultimately, my sadness and heartache is not because we had any deep, romantic connection (though I think we would have if we were given more time together), but because I now have this impossible standard set by him, and know I will never find a man that lives up to it. I have been crying almost nonstop since he told me he did not see a "long term future for us." It is killing me and I do not know how to handle the inevitable. Please do not tell me that everything happens for a reason or that God has a plan. Any other advice is very welcome. Thank you for reading this.
xx

[basilandthyme]

Sweetie, you are young. With experience you will find that there are many, many great men out in the world. You may not have met them yet but I am older than the guy you dated. Trust me when I say that they are there.

Try and be rational here: When you consider that there are 3.5 billion men on the face of the earth, it seems rather unlikely that you've met the only person who's supposedly perfect for you.

Grieve the end of this relationship. Then give yourself a kick up the ass with a reality check.