I'm sad today. Last night I lost my phone. Today I don't have access to WhatsApp though I might be able to get it back tomorrow. And I feel incapable of attracting women enough to have a sexual and/or romantic relationship.
It's funny, most of the times I feel sad, are due to my problems with women.
I suppose I have three choices:
1.
Try and become more attractive to women by getting fitter, cultivating better conversation skills, and becoming richer. The problems with these potential solutions are several.
Women apart I'm fairly happy with my diet and exercise routine. I go surfing often and do gym work when I have the energy and time. My diet is fairly healthy and this all adds up to me being in decent shape. Certainly no Adonis that will atract women thanks to my physique, but decent. Personally I'm happy with that.
Again, I'm quite happy with my conversational skills. I can talk about things I find interesting and can small talk fine too. I don't routinely dazzle groups of people or even individuals, but I am an interesting person to talk to when the mood or subject takes me. I'm fine with that. Apart from being able to attract women better I don't really care to be a better conversationalist. I mean its not a bad thing, but I'd rather focus my efforts elsewhere.
That leaves getting richer. Well, JOIN THE ****ING CLUB right?...
Plus, I'm getting older/balder, and there's not much I can do about that I don't think. I already do the best I can with the hair I've got in terms of haircut/style.
2.
Try harder. Put myself out there more.
Now this can work. I remember when I used to put a fair bit effort and thought into attracting women, I did OK.
Not great, because its been years since my last fulfilling relationship, but OK because I got laid now and then with doable women, some very, some just about acceptable, and had choices.
But I'm tired of that. I'm tired of putting effort (almost always one sided) into conversations with some stranger over WhatsApp that was a match on Tinder, only for 95% of them to not actually lead to a date anyway. And half of those that do, leading to nothing more than a somewhat enjoyable yet somewhat awkward first date that won't be repeated because there doesn't seem to be much chemistry.
I'm tired of awkard silences after the initial approach in a nightclub, even though I can usually pull off the initial approach well and get a warm reception from them, it quickly goes downhill after that, because 95% of women aren't up for getting physical right off the bat, even if they do think you seem attractive, and really the alternative is no better, because WHAT THE **** are you going to talk about with a stranger that you've just met in a nightclub where you can barely hear each other and there are 1 million distractions going on.
And don't even get me started on meeting women during the day... That's a LIE. I don't know where the **** attractive women hide during the day, but they don't seem to do anything I'm interested in doing, be it surfing, hiking, waiting for the bus, or playing beach volleyball. Believe me I've tried.
3.
Admit that I am just unatractive to women and give up on them completely. Then I would need to be fulfilled enough by the other aspects in my life, indefinately.
I'm pretty sure I could be fulfilled enough by my other activities but the idea of giving up on romantic/sexual relationships is kind of depressing in itself.
And it feels unfair because I'm really not that bad a catch... But it seems you have to have something flashily special to attract women which apart from my height I don't really have. But then even my height isn't all that special 'cos the height that really does seem to draw the ladies is that of the 7 ft giants that play pro basket ball...
I'm more intelligent than most people, but that's not flashy... That's invisible most of the time.
And I'm good-looking, in a "in the right light" kind of way, but not enough to overcome the barrier to something happening often enough to satisfy me.
Conclusion: not sure what to do, but I feel a bit better having written this down. Leaning towards giving up completely though at the moment.